Moved on? No. The last line of my blog entry applies here, though. The part about not knowing until you know.

That’s what happened to me. Blinders were on my eyes right up until the moment they were lifted. It is my hope for you that that will make sense someday.

Thanks for the reply. I see this blog has… MOVED ON!

No Donny and I would never pick fights with each other. I appreciate the answers from all of you. I still can’t put logic to a couple of them but I’m not here to dispute or argue. I’m here to listen to different opinions and then try to put the most logical answers together to form my own opinion. I apologize for some of the above sarcasm because I was having a bad night last night. Due to the circumstances, once again I’m sorry for a few of the above words.

Donny,

Let me address some of my concerns in a non agressive way.

1. It seems logical that if god purposely created us to be “NON” perfect then he would be the one to credit for our mistakes.
Donny, So far I have not been able to associate logic to any of the given answers concerning this topic. The “choice” theory that I’ve heard a few times doesn’t make logical since to me because If I write a computer program that makes choices then I can’t be mad at the program for making a certain choice because it is a choice that I wrote in to the programming and it is simply doing what I told it to do. As you have said yourself “when the bible was written people were not as educated as we are today” and because of that many of the things written in the bible do not make since now.

David, I like that poem.

2. Donny, your timeline theory makes perfect logical since to me. Sometimes we get mixed up in today and forget the big picture. A bee sting does hurt, but as you said the 5 minutes of pain is a drop in the bucket.
But what about being stuck in the chest from a stingray? What is the lesson there, not to swim next to a stingray? If so then shouldn’t sudden death be a bit much of a punishment for Erwin and his young daughter? That’s a pretty tough lesson for a little girl, too.

I sometimes have dreams of my dad talking to me and last night I had a dream of my step dad talking to me. I don’t believe that they were conscious and talking to me I believe that likely it is my sub conscious mind just like any other dream.
Why is it not logical that the dream you had the other night was nothing more then a dream? Sometimes they seem real, sometimes they do not. Sometimes they make since, sometimes they do not. Sometimes you remember them and sometimes you do not. They are dreams.

I’m sure that it appears that I use logic to do nothing but try and prove that there is no god. What you probably don’t see, well, I believe that you see it but most of your readers do not, is that I’m trying hard to convince myself otherwise so I’m using questions of logic to try and pick peoples brains to prove to myself that there is a god. So far I’m still not there but I’m hoping that I will see something or feel something soon before people give up and stop answering my questions.

I have a friend that I grew up with. His name is Steve Dixon, we were friends back in High school and come to think of it you may remember him from high school. He became a truck driver and drove for a few years. I didn’t hear from him during that few years. I heard rumors that he has become very religious and he carried the miniature version of the king James version in his back pocket and pulled it out and read it several times a day and that he would quote relevant scriptures to people all the time pertaining to problems that they were having.
He had a nice house, nice cars, and he was financially set.
He had stopped by my house once, not to preach, but to pay a debt, he said “remember that switchblade knife that you used to have when we were kids”, I said yeah, he said “How much did you pay for that knife and how much was it worth to you” By this time I pretty much knew what direction this conversation was going so I told him that I didn’t pay much for it and it didn’t mean anything to me. He told me that he had taken it and he wanted to make it right with me. I told him what I had paid for it and that it was no big deal at all, the fact that he driven clear to my house to tell me that he had taken it several years later meant more to me then the small price of the knife but he insisted on paying for it anyway.
I asked him what happened to make you suddenly believe in god after all this time I’m curious!
He replied by telling me a story of how he was laying in his room one night preying that if there is a god please show him. Then suddenly he said that this very strong feeling came over his entire body, it was so real and so peaceful yet powerful at the same time. He said that there was no mistaking that feeling.
Less then a year later Steve was driving down the road in his truck in some other state, he slammed on the brakes and jumped out of his truck. He took off his clothes and started walking down the road naked. Cars and trucks were backed up for miles until he was arrested and his truck was moved off the road.
Steve lost his mind, he became schizophrenic and he would hear voices and see things that were not there. I’ve seen him a couple times since that time, he’s unshaven, he doesn’t comb his hair, he’s homeless and sometimes I see his mug shot in the local county jail, usually for drunken in public or disorderly conduct. His own brother just writes him off as “he’s lost his mind, he’s crazy” this is pretty sad, I feel like I care more about this then his own brother but I could be wrong.
What lesson is steve supposed to be learning from this?

and thank you for taking the time to respond to john. too often i think people ‘pick fights’ rather than connect. its encouraging to see the connecting.

I don’t have any easy answers for you re: God, suffering, why… not sure there is one. You’re asking a question that has been asked by humanity for – well, a long time.

Re: xxxchurch is “all about business and money”…

I know those guys (Craig & Mike) personally. If it was about money they’d never be doing the xxxchurch thing. Both of those guys are sharp enough to climb whatever corporate ladder they want.

I’m not sure there’s enough $$$ in the “porn-fighting industry” (whatever that is) to balance out the amount of abuse Mike and Craig have taken from both the conservative Christian and the porn side of the thing.

What if you’re right
He was just another nice guy
What if you’re right
What if it’s true
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it’s true

What if He takes His place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love, and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then

But what if you’re wrong
What if there’s more
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for
What if you jump
Just close your eyes
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise
What if He’s more than enough
What if it’s love

What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That’s all you find

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more than folklore that must be told
And retold

‘Cause you’ve been running as fast as you can
You’ve been looking for a place you can land
For so long
But what if you’re wrong

What if you jump
Just close your eyes
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise
What if He’s more than enough
What if it’s love

What if it’s love

I’m sure you’ve heard the cliché sayings about how sin entered the world through Adam and Eve and blah blah blah blah blah. I won’t bore you with that.

What I will tell you is that I firmly believe this earth is a place of learning. We have authority here. It’s our world. Have you noticed how the last century or so technology has exploded? Why didn’t that happen before? We’ve been around forever, after all. And the earth will be around long after you and I are dead and gone. People will keep learning. That’s really what we’re here for. We’re supposedly made “in God’s image”. I am sure that doesn’t mean we look like him. I think that means we have a lot of the same characteristics of God. Amongst other things, we’re probably on this earth to learn to innovate and create things, and to become more “God like” in more ways than most people realize.

Of course the earth isn’t perfect. It would be rather boring if it was. What could we possibly learn from a perfect world? Seriously, think about that before responding to the first impulse to argue.

I’d like to know why I sat and watched my step father suffer, shake, and cry for help for 12 hours before his heart finally stopped beating last night.

I’m sorry to hear that happened. Although your family knew it was coming and have known for a very long time, I’m sure you’re still in a very emotional state after experiencing those last few hours. And if you weren’t my best friend I wouldn’t even continue to answer, because I don’t want to sound like I don’t care. Since you’re my friend you know I do.

In the scheme of things 12 hours is such a short amount of time. Have you ever spanked your children in the past? The pain they feel goes away rather quickly, doesn’t it? You can either focus on that pain or focus on the larger lesson you’re trying to teach them.

I don’t know what comes after this life. Nobody does. Some people think they do after reading scriptures, but the Bible is so full of symbolism that I’m not going to take Heaven or Hell to be as realistic as most, because I personally think at least part of that is symbolic and not literal. I do think something happens to us, but I don’t think anyone on earth has a clue what that will be (I reserve the right to change this belief at any time – LOL). The point is that I’m going to focus on being the best person I can be while I’m here on this earth.

But lets assume for a second that there is an afterlife. Your step father’s suffering didn’t even last as long as the pain of a spanking in comparison to that.

Since you don’t spank your kids, another analogy would be if they were stung by a bee. The pain from that sting goes away rather quickly. But the lesson they learn (don’t mess with bees) lasts a lifetime. Do you focus on the pain or do you, as a parent, realize that some apparently negative things are for the best interest of your kids, because they learn from them?

You can never know if that’s the case with your step father.

There may have been a superior being at one time, however, he either isn’t here anymore or he simply doesn’t give a shit! If there is a god and he allows things like this to happen then he can kiss my ass!

I think you failed to let part of what I wrote in my post above sink in. This world belongs to us. We are learning more and more how to control what goes on in it. We’re a long way from being able to take full control of it. You and I see things from our own perspective. We don’t take into consideration what humanity learns from mistakes that have been made. If there was no disease, we wouldn’t learn how to cure it. It’s in that learning process that we progress. When scientist are looking for a way to cure X, they often find out a whole lot of information about Y and Z as well. Know what I mean? That knowledge is eventually passed on to a larger part of the population, and humanity as a whole becomes more intelligent because of it.

God has a stand-off approach. Like you letting your kids learn for themselves instead of doing everything for them. We have to pray because that’s how we ask for help. Just like your kids have to ask you for help sometimes. And do you always answer their every whim? Of course not. Sometimes it’s because you simply don’t want to, and other times it’s because you realize, from your position of understanding more of the “big picture”, that they need to learn things for themselves. You don’t do their homework for them because they wouldn’t learn anything if you did. And they may not even realize what it is they’re learning. That’s the same as what God does with us: he lets “bad” things happen to us because we learn from it. We don’t always realize exactly what we’re learning, either.

So now you are insinuating that you have communications with god because you have so many people praying for you out there.

I think that has a whole lot to do with it.

What about me? I guess since I didn’t produce porn for 9 years I don’t deserve all that prayer huh?

It’s not a matter of what you or I deserve. It just “is”. Thousands of people have heard my story and are praying for me right now. I never said I “deserve” it. And because they’re not praying for John doesn’t mean you don’t. Have you asked anyone to pray for you? Think about that for a minute.

I’m just supposed to believe.

There is more wisdom in what you just wrote than you realize. I had all the same doubts as you. Probably more, because I have a good part of the scripture memorized because of my childhood experiences. Nothing began happening for me until I surrendered myself to God REGARDLESS of the doubts. I had always told him that I’d do it once my questions and doubts were addressed. Nothing happened. It was only after I let go and surrendered DESPITE my doubts that I began experiencing the things I’m experiencing. “I’m just supposed to believe”. Yep. That’s right. That’s the true meaning of faith.

I’ll bet that If I study hard enough and try to make excuses for all my unanswered questions then I might brainwash myself in to being a believer. It’s going to be hard though since I don’t have thousands of people praying for me as you do.

Studying hard will surely accomplish something for you, that’s for sure. If you’re not ready to surrender, instead of making up answers in your mind, why don’t you scour the internet for the answers? Believe me, with several billion people on the earth you can bet a few of them have had the same questions you have and have probably started discussion about them online.

I also suggest reading what solem wrote, by the way. Lots of truth to that, and it goes right along with some of what I’ve said.

I only hope you get a chance to experience some of the things I’ve experienced John.

If God built a perfect Creation, and gave it to man to be a steward of, with only one rule, and man screwed over the entire system.. I think that sending my son to die for that Creation, would be one of the things I would’nt feel like doing..