Personally, I am more interested in your answers to those questions than your conversion although the latter adds another layer of thinking material.

But hey this is your blog and you don’t have to answer questions, or play up to anyone else’s sense of morality. I believe you find your own measure in life and that you alone answer to it. So you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone, least of all me!

I found you through the Google Group Blogger Help Group > Share Your Blog you posted in.

SJ xx

I look forward to hearing from you often. Thank you for posting. And if you run across any more forums such as the one you posted earlier please let us all know. I’ve been browsing that forum and am thinking about posting.

Yeah, this has been a “conversion” that has happened quite recently. September 25th, 2006 to be exact. Life has been quite a bit different since that time.

After 9 years of producing porn, perhaps I’ll take the majority of the rest of my life “making amends” as you put it.

Thanks again for coming here and for participating.

I am not hiding. My name is Cathie, I am thirty nine years old, married and I have a fifteen year old son. I live in Chico. I haven’t come up with an “identity” that I find amusing enough or that I want to commit to yet-I’ll let you know it is me when I do (that’s a lot of pressure to come up with a good one!).

I do not want you to beg and weep and cry for the models. I would appreciate you speaking some truth about the industry and what it does to women. For years you helped to perpetuate the “porn myth”-hot and horny women that want it all the time, the belief that women exist only for men’s pleasure, etc.

Today was my first time reading your blog, and I can’t even remember how I found it-the link from a link, from a link, I think (that sounded much more Dr. Suessish than intended). I realize now that you just recently “jumped the fence” (from porn to non-porn, I don’t want to get any homophobes feathers in a ruffle-although the image of homophobes in feathers is amusing). I imagine that you are still processing and questioning what this all means and where you stand on some of the issues around pornography. I just wanted to plant the seed about the effects porn has on women in porn and in our society.
It sometimes creeps me out knowing that I might be sitting on the bus or in a restaurant next to a guy who was just wanking off to porn. Or he is looking at me like he might be saving that image for a later session-ewwwww. But see, porn gave him the idea that doing so is okay, that any woman is fair game for his sexual fantasies-ick. It has caused me to consider a burka.

I’ll look forward to hearing more from you. I do not believe that I will see porn in an entirely different light. I have done a lot of research and reading and believe I have a pretty accurate idea of what the industry is about, but I will keep reading your blog. I appreciate you being open to dialogue-that is how we all learn.

There really is no reason to remain anonymous. I won’t bite. I promise.

If you feel so strongly about what you’re writing at least own up to it so that I can call you by name.

I’m not going to weep and cry and beg forgiveness of all the models who have posed for me. I am aware of my past actions. And I do plan to do something about it to compensate.

I believe telling my story, my FULL story, will help many people to see porn in an entirely different light. I hope to do so in the near future. I think all sides will receive an education, including you and me.

Thanks for posting. Please feel free to continue challenging me. I welcome it. That’s part of the growth process.

Ummm, How about you let him speak for himself?

Or do you believe that this man who spent over eight years exploiting women to make a buck is too fragile?

How about you let him deal with this transition. Humanity is depraved, “making amends” won’t change that. The best thing he can do is leave that world. If he started working with the XXXchurch, that would definitely be helpful, but ONLY when (if) he is ready.

Oh, can I have one of your DSLRs? hehe

You have turned to God and are finding comfort in that, good for YOU.

I just wonder what you are planning to do to make amends to humanity, women and our community.

The ripples of what you have done will be felt for a long while. The pictures of young women that you took are still on web pages. Those young women are still being objectified and dehumanized because of YOUR actions.

Do you have plans to combat the porn culture and make amends?

If not, I see this as simply a selfish way to get forgiveness for yourself and the makings of an interesting, if insincere blog.

BTW-I am not a Christian, I am a woman and I am against porn.

Here is a support board you can visit to see how porn is affecting individuals, families and marriages.
http://lightwave.proboards48.com/