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On Bosses and Pastors

October 27th, 2006 Leave a comment Go to comments

I am SOOOOOO not looking forward to having a boss again. I have a problem answering to other people. It just gets way down deep under my skin to have another person telling me what to do all the time. I guess it’s time for Donny to learn some valuable lessons, one of which is to humble himself.

Next week I will most likely start working for someone else. In a perfect world visitors would be showing up to this blog by the millions, and each of them would be clicking relevant Google ad links, generating tons of money. Alas, the millions of dollars in advertising revenue isn’t rolling in from simply sharing my life with the world.

If you have no sense of humor, allow me to offer assurance that I didn’t really expect such things to happen. I actually expected life to become much more difficult than what I’ve been experiencing. I expected to hit rock bottom and have a very rough time getting back on my feet. God seems to have other plans. What a relief!

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still lose most of my “possessions”. Said possessions include my home. There’s simply no way I can afford a $3600 per month house payment, $1500 per month in car payments (and the insurance that goes with said cars), $2500 per month in support to my ex-wife, and on and on and on… In my former life, bare minimum monthly expenses totaled a hefty five figures per month, not counting payments made to models.

I’m sure there will be times when I miss being able to pay my share of the 2006 Mastercraft X-Star upon which Belinda and I, along with my friend Jamie and numerous other party-loving friends and acquaintances, spent most of this past summer. Jamie and I were partners on the boat, and it currently sits just a few feet from where I am typing this blog entry. That’s not going to remain the case (sorry, Jamie, it’s all yours now… come and get it). I’ll probably miss traveling. I’ll probably miss the ability to go out on a whim and buy almost anything I want.

I know I’ll miss dining out twice a day. I’m not much of a cook.

I can’t begin to describe in one blog entry all of the things money offers. I won’t attempt to deceive you, my Constant Readers, by saying money doesn’t provide for nice life experiences. In my case, it most certainly did. But all of those things combined are so insignificant compared to the beautiful experiences, inner peace and freedom I’ve come to know since surrendering my life to God. Even breathing seems easier than it was before.

In the back of my mind I always had a tiny twinge of guilt about the way I generated income. I’d make up reasons and excuses to justify what I did. I’d tell people I found nothing wrong with my business. I had some pretty decent arguments to support my claims, and I lied to myself so well that sometimes I’d actually believe those lies.
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If you’ve read all of my blog entries since the surrender you’ve probably noticed something: I’ve changed direction more than once. I almost jumped at the first job offer, which would have resulted in a move to Seattle. On a recent interview I had with XXXChurch.com (which is available on their blog) I stated that I’d be moving to San Diego to live with my mother for awhile. I felt I needed to get away from Northern California in order to “clear my head”. I’m still having a problem finding my direction, but some of the great people I’ve been speaking with have assured me it’s normal to feel the need to make drastic changes immediately after giving one’s life to God. “Just calm down a little” seems to be a recurring recommendation.

Two local Pastors have voiced the opinion (on separate occasions and without knowledge of my conversation with the other) that I need to stay right here in the Redding/Chico area. To be honest, I really like that idea. That would keep me close to my son.

Last Friday I interviewed with a company in a nearby city that handles internet marketing services for a handful of well known, large corporations.

Tomorrow I have an interview with a company that, while out of the area, would allow me to spend quite a bit of time with my son.

A good friend made a phone call yesterday which resulted in an offer for local employment with an automobile dealership.

God has provided these good, solid choices. I greatly appreciate that. And so, by this time next week, I’ll be calling someone else “boss”. That may not be what Donny Pauling finds most appealing, but it’s real work. And it will suffice until the time comes for God to use me to help others.

Speaking of those advertising links:

Even though I receive $1 per download, I am not kidding at all when I say you should download Firefox if you’re currently using Internet Explorer. Seriously, just do it. Now. Come back and read the rest of this blog entry after you’ve done so. It’s the best thing you can do for your PC to help avoid getting spyware and viruses. If you insist on using Microsoft Internet Explorer you really should not complain when your computer runs slowly, due to spyware and viruses that could have been prevented by avoiding IE. Firefox is a great browser, and it’s so much better for the health of your computer than using Internet Explorer. I use it myself, and I’m on a Mac. Click here to download it now. It’s free.

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  • brad

    it’s hard isn’t it? giving up the things we’ve grown comfortable with? i know. i thought, as a christian, that it would be easy giving up the ability to buy ‘things’ whenever i want or need them. but its not, well not at first anyway. i see it kind of like a rocket…which takes lots of energy to get out of the atmosphere, but once you’re going for awhile, it takes less and less energy to deal with the changes we’ve made. lately, God’s been convicting my wife and i concerning how we spend our money. it seems, lol, you don’t have to be wealthy in order for God to change how we spend. who knew? (chuckling here). so ya, no more daily eating out, no more ‘first to have the high tech’ equipment, no more a lot of things. instead now, we’re trying to figure out how we can use the extra money to help out others in need.donny, you’re bright and creative. you’ve already got a future which will provide for you, you just don’t know the details yet. my confidence is in you and in God. we’ll keep praying for guidance, direction, and love that continues to grow for God.brad

  • brad

    it’s hard isn’t it? giving up the things we’ve grown comfortable with? i know. i thought, as a christian, that it would be easy giving up the ability to buy ‘things’ whenever i want or need them. but its not, well not at first anyway. i see it kind of like a rocket…which takes lots of energy to get out of the atmosphere, but once you’re going for awhile, it takes less and less energy to deal with the changes we’ve made.

    lately, God’s been convicting my wife and i concerning how we spend our money. it seems, lol, you don’t have to be wealthy in order for God to change how we spend. who knew? (chuckling here). so ya, no more daily eating out, no more ‘first to have the high tech’ equipment, no more a lot of things. instead now, we’re trying to figure out how we can use the extra money to help out others in need.

    donny, you’re bright and creative. you’ve already got a future which will provide for you, you just don’t know the details yet. my confidence is in you and in God. we’ll keep praying for guidance, direction, and love that continues to grow for God.

    brad

  • S.

    I guess it depends how you feel about these things.All the years I was in school–even college–I regarded school, and school work, and homework as a tax–a tax on my time, exacted by the adults who had power over me. My goal, like any taxpayer, was to minimize the tax. The sooner I got my schoolwork done, the more time I had left for my own purposes.When I left school and started working, I found–somewhat to my surprise–that I had a totally different attitude about work. I spent more time on the job than I ever did in school, and I had bosses who told me what to do, but I was totally cool with it, because…(wait for it)…I was *getting paid*. And because I was getting paid, it wasn’t a tax. Instead, it was a deal: I do this stuff for them, and they give me money. And I’ve kept that attitude pretty much to this day.

  • S.

    I guess it depends how you feel about these things.

    All the years I was in school–even college–I regarded school, and school work, and homework as a tax–a tax on my time, exacted by the adults who had power over me. My goal, like any taxpayer, was to minimize the tax. The sooner I got my schoolwork done, the more time I had left for my own purposes.

    When I left school and started working, I found–somewhat to my surprise–that I had a totally different attitude about work. I spent more time on the job than I ever did in school, and I had bosses who told me what to do, but I was totally cool with it, because…(wait for it)…I was *getting paid*.

    And because I was getting paid, it wasn’t a tax. Instead, it was a deal: I do this stuff for them, and they give me money. And I’ve kept that attitude pretty much to this day.

  • Nancy

    Donny as I read your blog I sometimes can’t hold back tears. You are growing. It is so awesome to see.About money- my husband and I live on around $23,000 a year. I can’t comprehend the income you had, and I know that it will be hard to get used to not having it, but I know God will take care of you.I know what you mean about stuff from the Bible that you learned as a kid coming back to you just when you need it- that happens to me too.I remember when I was 20, and first had an experience with the Holy Spirit, how it seemed like a little light came on inside of me, and suddenly I was reading the Bible in huge gulps, highlighting passages, and even slept with the Bible under my pillow!I’m sure you know that some Christians might still disappoint you, and you will still see some things in churches that you don’t like. But your relationship with God is personal between you and Him, and He will be your teacher. He will use the Bible, and other people, and Christian books, and His Spirit. I heard someone say “Live the questions and you will live the answers.” Love and prayers and praises! “Aunt” Nancy

  • Nancy

    Donny as I read your blog I sometimes can’t hold back tears. You are growing. It is so awesome to see.
    About money- my husband and I live on around $23,000 a year. I can’t comprehend the income you had, and I know that it will be hard to get used to not having it, but I know God will take care of you.
    I know what you mean about stuff from the Bible that you learned as a kid coming back to you just when you need it- that happens to me too.
    I remember when I was 20, and first had an experience with the Holy Spirit, how it seemed like a little light came on inside of me, and suddenly I was reading the Bible in huge gulps, highlighting passages, and even slept with the Bible under my pillow!
    I’m sure you know that some Christians might still disappoint you, and you will still see some things in churches that you don’t like. But your relationship with God is personal between you and Him, and He will be your teacher. He will use the Bible, and other people, and Christian books, and His Spirit.
    I heard someone say “Live the questions and you will live the answers.”
    Love and prayers and praises! “Aunt” Nancy

  • the artist’s wife

    Hello Donny!My husband and I were missionaries when we met in 1999. We spent one year on the mission field in Haiti as a married couple before moving back to the States in 2001. You’d think we had the least amount of money as missionaries, but this last year was our worst financially.We lived on about $1000/mo. Crazy, huh? Our mortgage was $1150 so that tells you we have some “credit issues” now. We almost lost our house, but (praise God) we didn’t and were able to sell and get out of most of our debts.(My husband is an artist. We were trying to make it while he was self-employed. Now he’s one of three combat artists for the USMC — God has TRULY rewarded us for our patience with his career!)I had our second and third children on Medicaid. We were also on food stamps. I think we survived by God’s grace and the love He sent us through an AMAZING group of people (mostly our church/Bible study friends, but also some family). We have almost paid all of these personal debts off now — hopefully by Christmas! Now we pay cash for things — no more payments. We even went and bought a used minivan, cash! It was SO freeing.I learned something. . . . everytime I said, “It can’t get worse than this.” It DID! There were times I was adding water to the milk for my first two children (crying as I did it), just to make it last a little longer. There were times when I would open the cabinets and just cry because I knew I had to feed them beans and rice again. I also learned to add water to the liquid soap, and so many other money saving tips. (I actually may write a book!)Thankfully you haven’t experienced that yet, but you ARE aware that it can get bad. I’m pleased to see the spiritual maturity in your posts.I learned to be content with each moment. I learned that God is there in the good times AND the bad. I learned that owning “things” doesn’t matter. And I learned to just live for God, not man.Does that mean I’m perfect now? I wish! ha ha! I’m still a human who messes up every day. I can be defensive (as evidenced by another post to a different blog). I can covet other people’s things. etc. etc.I hope you know that there are people like me praying for you to succeed in this new life.

  • the artist’s wife

    Hello Donny!

    My husband and I were missionaries when we met in 1999. We spent one year on the mission field in Haiti as a married couple before moving back to the States in 2001. You’d think we had the least amount of money as missionaries, but this last year was our worst financially.

    We lived on about $1000/mo. Crazy, huh? Our mortgage was $1150 so that tells you we have some “credit issues” now. We almost lost our house, but (praise God) we didn’t and were able to sell and get out of most of our debts.

    (My husband is an artist. We were trying to make it while he was self-employed. Now he’s one of three combat artists for the USMC — God has TRULY rewarded us for our patience with his career!)

    I had our second and third children on Medicaid. We were also on food stamps. I think we survived by God’s grace and the love He sent us through an AMAZING group of people (mostly our church/Bible study friends, but also some family). We have almost paid all of these personal debts off now — hopefully by Christmas!

    Now we pay cash for things — no more payments. We even went and bought a used minivan, cash! It was SO freeing.

    I learned something. . . . everytime I said, “It can’t get worse than this.” It DID! There were times I was adding water to the milk for my first two children (crying as I did it), just to make it last a little longer. There were times when I would open the cabinets and just cry because I knew I had to feed them beans and rice again. I also learned to add water to the liquid soap, and so many other money saving tips. (I actually may write a book!)

    Thankfully you haven’t experienced that yet, but you ARE aware that it can get bad. I’m pleased to see the spiritual maturity in your posts.

    I learned to be content with each moment. I learned that God is there in the good times AND the bad. I learned that owning “things” doesn’t matter. And I learned to just live for God, not man.

    Does that mean I’m perfect now? I wish! ha ha! I’m still a human who messes up every day. I can be defensive (as evidenced by another post to a different blog). I can covet other people’s things. etc. etc.

    I hope you know that there are people like me praying for you to succeed in this new life.