Comments on: I Haven't Been a Good Example to Belinda http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/ The Blog of Donny Pauling: former porn producer, changed by Grace and Love... Sun, 14 Mar 2010 05:49:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Adam http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-422 Adam Sun, 30 Sep 2007 06:37:18 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-422 You really spoke to me just now, I've been trying to get through to my mom that she needs to deal with her past (having had an abortion years ago), and that this is why she gambles like she does, trying to run from it (another thing I've been getting on her to stop). The thing is though, I'm not conveying it in a very nice way, a lot of times I come up as angry or mean, sometimes yelling at her about it all. I know that isn't the way, and that if she is to change, I have to show her that I have changed as well. I have to start showing her the love and healing God has brought into my life, and that He can bring it into hers too if he'll let her. Until I can do that, I won't be able to get through to her. Basically I have to work on myself first (being someone who has my own problems, as a porn addict trying to break free), and get myself better before I can help her become better. You really spoke to me just now, I’ve been trying to get through to my mom that she needs to deal with her past (having had an abortion years ago), and that this is why she gambles like she does, trying to run from it (another thing I’ve been getting on her to stop). The thing is though, I’m not conveying it in a very nice way, a lot of times I come up as angry or mean, sometimes yelling at her about it all.

I know that isn’t the way, and that if she is to change, I have to show her that I have changed as well. I have to start showing her the love and healing God has brought into my life, and that He can bring it into hers too if he’ll let her. Until I can do that, I won’t be able to get through to her. Basically I have to work on myself first (being someone who has my own problems, as a porn addict trying to break free), and get myself better before I can help her become better.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-421 Anonymous Fri, 12 Jan 2007 01:55:20 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-421 I don't have an account yet, but I won't be "annonymous," my name is Ben.<br /><br />Thank you for this entry, Donny. This was very touching to me in its tragedy, but even more so in how you discribed Jesus' idea of the situation... I needed that. I don’t have an account yet, but I won’t be “annonymous,” my name is Ben.

Thank you for this entry, Donny. This was very touching to me in its tragedy, but even more so in how you discribed Jesus’ idea of the situation… I needed that.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-420 Anonymous Sun, 05 Nov 2006 11:26:40 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-420 Thanks for sharing that. May God continue to lead you on and reveal His glory to you and others through His Son. Thanks for sharing that. May God continue to lead you on and reveal His glory to you and others through His Son.

]]> By: FromHisRibhttp://www.myspace.com/fromhisrib http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-419 FromHisRibhttp://www.myspace.com/fromhisrib Fri, 03 Nov 2006 14:26:49 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-419 Donny,<br/><br/>I had wondered what this would do to your relationship with Belinda and was even brazen enough to ask you about it and you were humble enough to answer me.<br/><br/>I, someone who has proclaimed to follow Christ for a few years and then some now have learned a lot from your spirit of humility and your spirit of candidness. You seem to have a good balance of both.<br/>Inspirational to me.<br/><br/>I need more humility in my life.<br/><br/>As far as Belinda is concerned, I agree, your words need to match your lifestyle. I am glad you were sensitive to the Holy Spirit speaking to your heart and that you are reconciling this issue to God.<br/><br/>Kudos, kiddo! Donny,

I had wondered what this would do to your relationship with Belinda and was even brazen enough to ask you about it and you were humble enough to answer me.

I, someone who has proclaimed to follow Christ for a few years and then some now have learned a lot from your spirit of humility and your spirit of candidness. You seem to have a good balance of both.
Inspirational to me.

I need more humility in my life.

As far as Belinda is concerned, I agree, your words need to match your lifestyle. I am glad you were sensitive to the Holy Spirit speaking to your heart and that you are reconciling this issue to God.

Kudos, kiddo!

]]> By: Donny http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-418 Donny Fri, 03 Nov 2006 04:08:28 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-418 Pastor Art,<br/><br/>I tried looking you up a few days ago. I'm glad you made it back. We MUST talk. :)<br/><br/>- Donny - Pastor Art,

I tried looking you up a few days ago. I’m glad you made it back. We MUST talk. :)

- Donny -

]]> By: arthttp://pastor-art.com http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-417 arthttp://pastor-art.com Fri, 03 Nov 2006 03:57:41 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-417 Donny! Dude I am in tears. Pastor Art here. . . we e-talked across 6 months or so. . . a while back. I stopped when you hit the Pboy mansion faze. You seemed gone absorbed in the wow of it all. Then the Russian dude who hosted the blog site disappeared. But you have been on my heart just recently. I spoke with a couple other pastors about you last week. Tonite I thought "I wonder what Donny has been doing?" Then I found "former" porn guy on google. Called my wife in to rejoice. Loved what Spirittibee said to you. I could feel the truth. Belinda. . . God can use her laughs and your faithfulness. You always had a heart Donny . . . Now you have His and that will speak. So glad for Caden and his mom. I pray good things for you and a stewardship of the influence God has set at your door. Grace man. I would be good to hear from you. Art Donny! Dude I am in tears. Pastor Art here. . . we e-talked across 6 months or so. . . a while back. I stopped when you hit the Pboy mansion faze. You seemed gone absorbed in the wow of it all. Then the Russian dude who hosted the blog site disappeared. But you have been on my heart just recently. I spoke with a couple other pastors about you last week. Tonite I thought “I wonder what Donny has been doing?” Then I found “former” porn guy on google. Called my wife in to rejoice. Loved what Spirittibee said to you. I could feel the truth. Belinda. . . God can use her laughs and your faithfulness. You always had a heart Donny . . . Now you have His and that will speak. So glad for Caden and his mom. I pray good things for you and a stewardship of the influence God has set at your door. Grace man. I would be good to hear from you. Art

]]> By: Sprittibee http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-416 Sprittibee Fri, 03 Nov 2006 02:44:58 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-416 Hang in there and keep your eyes on Jesus. Trust me, there's nothing a woman secretly wants more than a God-fearing and upright man! Eventually, Christ will shine forth from you and she won't be able to resist Him. Thanks for sharing this and visiting my blog. Hang in there and keep your eyes on Jesus. Trust me, there’s nothing a woman secretly wants more than a God-fearing and upright man! Eventually, Christ will shine forth from you and she won’t be able to resist Him. Thanks for sharing this and visiting my blog.

]]> By: Jemila Monroe http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-415 Jemila Monroe Fri, 03 Nov 2006 00:55:33 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-415 Hi Donny,<br/><br/>This may sound like a funny suggestion, but have you thought about being vulnerable with your wife about your doubts and inner conflicts, as well as your longing for God and your decision to follow Jesus to the best of your ability?<br/><br/>Last week I heard someone preach in a sermon on this idea of a spiritual continuum, on which everyone finds themselves somewhere: Cynic, Skeptic, Seeker or Bliever. I personally believe most of us are all of these at once, somehow. And for those of us who mostly parade around our inner "believer," that can be intimidating to somone whose main mode is skeptic or cynic. But if we trust God enough to let our inner doubter be honest with the rest of us, and to be part of the spiritual conversations we have with people we love...well then we stop coming across as self-righteous jerks and start sounding a little more genuine. Like maybe if we're polarized in one aspect, the other person just reacts by being polarized the other way, but if we get out of our expected role and make room for those real parts we wouldn't necessarily expose in certain Christian circles, maybe the cynic can also open to the parts of her that sense something greater, or long to believe and belong to a Being who is Love.<br/><br/>Just some thoughts from a Jesus-loving heretic :) Hi Donny,

This may sound like a funny suggestion, but have you thought about being vulnerable with your wife about your doubts and inner conflicts, as well as your longing for God and your decision to follow Jesus to the best of your ability?

Last week I heard someone preach in a sermon on this idea of a spiritual continuum, on which everyone finds themselves somewhere: Cynic, Skeptic, Seeker or Bliever. I personally believe most of us are all of these at once, somehow. And for those of us who mostly parade around our inner “believer,” that can be intimidating to somone whose main mode is skeptic or cynic. But if we trust God enough to let our inner doubter be honest with the rest of us, and to be part of the spiritual conversations we have with people we love…well then we stop coming across as self-righteous jerks and start sounding a little more genuine. Like maybe if we’re polarized in one aspect, the other person just reacts by being polarized the other way, but if we get out of our expected role and make room for those real parts we wouldn’t necessarily expose in certain Christian circles, maybe the cynic can also open to the parts of her that sense something greater, or long to believe and belong to a Being who is Love.

Just some thoughts from a Jesus-loving heretic :)

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-414 Anonymous Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:34:03 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-414 Hey Donny, I hear you. Not that our situations are identical but I feel what you're saying. My wife is a Christian, raised in a pastor's home all of her life. But when I try and share with here a new idea or crazy thought for ministry, she seems to throw cold water on my fire, every time! It's a bit discouraging and I feel like I shouldn't even tell her my dreams because she constantly shoots them down. Even when I started my blog, divulgence, she was uncaring and unconcerned. I catch her reading it when I come home though :) I know she loves me and doesn't want to hurt me but she's a bit reserved and traditional. I'm not either of the two. I just plug away man...that's what we have to do. Plug away, God will take care of the incidentals.<br/><br/>Btw, I know we just met on the blogosphere a few days ago but I just want you to know, I'm proud of you and the changes your allowing God to work through you! Hey Donny, I hear you. Not that our situations are identical but I feel what you’re saying. My wife is a Christian, raised in a pastor’s home all of her life. But when I try and share with here a new idea or crazy thought for ministry, she seems to throw cold water on my fire, every time! It’s a bit discouraging and I feel like I shouldn’t even tell her my dreams because she constantly shoots them down. Even when I started my blog, divulgence, she was uncaring and unconcerned. I catch her reading it when I come home though :) I know she loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me but she’s a bit reserved and traditional. I’m not either of the two. I just plug away man…that’s what we have to do. Plug away, God will take care of the incidentals.

Btw, I know we just met on the blogosphere a few days ago but I just want you to know, I’m proud of you and the changes your allowing God to work through you!

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/comment-page-1/#comment-413 Anonymous Thu, 02 Nov 2006 18:52:06 +0000 http://donnysramblings.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/i-havent-been-a-good-example-to-belinda/#comment-413 Bitterness has been my biggest "demon" for sure.<br/><br/>Ron Bitterness has been my biggest “demon” for sure.

Ron

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