On March 16th I received an email from Craig Gross asking if I was available this coming weekend to attend a Porn and Pancakes event in Illinois. He’s been speaking with the producer of CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360º show.

“Donny, he’s interested in talking with you about XXXchurch, your past, and your current transition out of porn. I told him there is a good chance you will be at the event next weekend.”

Yep, I’ll be there. I just finished packing. The scary thing is that I picked out my own clothes.

No, I don’t mean I got them out of the closet and put them in my bag. What I mean is: I just got back from JC Penney, where I purchased the outfit I’m going to be wearing.

All. By. Myself.

If Belinda was still around she’d tell you what a scary thought that is. When shopping for clothing, we used to go into a store, where I’d pick something up and start heading toward the check out register. She’d take the item of clothing out of my hands and put it back on the rack, replacing it with something she found more appropriate.

Tonight I was on the phone with a friend from Chico. She called as I was pulling up to the mall. I tried describing what I was picking out and she said it sounded good.

“But you don’t understand… I need a woman to tell me if this stuff looks good together, and more importantly, if it looks okay on ME.”

“I just saw you a couple days ago. Your clothes were perfect on you.”

“That’s because A WOMAN picked them out. This time I’m picking this stuff out myself. That’s the scary thing!”

The sales clerk told me it all looked great, but that’s her job. How good a sales clerk would she be if she told customers they shouldn’t spend a dime on the outfit they’ve brought to her counter?

So if y’all see me on CNN looking really funky… well, now you’ll understand why.
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