Comments on: Personal Costs http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/ The Blog of Donny Pauling: former porn producer, changed by Grace and Love... Wed, 11 Jan 2012 01:17:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Patrick http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-1704 Patrick Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:29:48 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-1704 Awesome. Linking. Thank you for sharing Donny. Oh, and follow me back on twitter. I am RightBloggerPat, that is following you. :) Awesome. Linking. Thank you for sharing Donny. Oh, and follow me back on twitter. I am RightBloggerPat, that is following you. :)

]]> By: Patrick http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-6124 Patrick Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:29:00 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-6124 Awesome. Linking. Thank you for sharing Donny. Oh, and follow me back on twitter. I am RightBloggerPat, that is following you. :) Awesome. Linking. Thank you for sharing Donny. Oh, and follow me back on twitter. I am RightBloggerPat, that is following you. :)

]]> By: Steve G http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-1703 Steve G Tue, 25 Sep 2007 04:57:55 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-1703 Donny, I serve a God who created the universe, but even bigger than that He healed a relationship broken by porn, prostitutes, affairs and alcoholism...for 8 years I put her throught hell. Through the fog I always knew she was my best friend...she raised our three kids along with God when I was just plain gone, mindless, sick. She was always my rudder in life and when I lost her I went in what ever direction the wind blew...I wandered aimlessly, lost...I knew to much had happened, I did not even know if I could love her again, as a wife and a lover...but this was not about me, this was not about my wife; this was about a family... I have seen my counselors in my recovery and I ask them one question. "Of all the children you have seen from divorce, are there any who do not wish it could have been fixed". Of the probably 15 Dr's and counselors I have asked they have all told me that in every single case, 100% wish it could have been different. Your son needs the two of you to stand strong. In my recovery it is interesting because only people who are not from divorced home will say "oh, kids are resilent" or "oh, the kids will be fine"... My parents are dead now...I never gave up hope of just one more Christmas together...your son will always wonder...he will always hope, in his eyes you will always see it when you drop him off...why not daddy, am I not worth it... Fight for him Donny...You find a way to win that sweetheart of a woman God gave you back to your heart...I did.. Sometimes my wife forgets that I have placed her on a pedistal, sometimes she tries to open a car door her self and I have to remind her, that is my job...yes sometimes she slips from the pedistal and I have to put her back up there...My little boy now opens the door for me and races to get to his mom's door. I remember when we told the kids we were going to work on getting back together. My wife called me that night and told me... "Our son is happier than I have ever seen him." A man in our small group said the other night that he had asked his kids if they were happier after his divorce because the fighting was over and he said my kids said yes. I shared this with my wife and she said "Isn't that like me asking you if this dress makes me look fat?". She was right, funny but right. I remember my dad asking me if I was ok with the divorce, I mean after all my mom was taken ill and was in a rest home. Dad said "A man needs sex" and I said "I just want you to be happy dad"...it was a lie. I am not preaching bro, but it is possible...it is hard, but it is possible and there is one very good reason for you both to do this... Donny,

I serve a God who created the universe, but even bigger than that He healed a relationship broken by porn, prostitutes, affairs and alcoholism…for 8 years I put her throught hell.

Through the fog I always knew she was my best friend…she raised our three kids along with God when I was just plain gone, mindless, sick. She was always my rudder in life and when I lost her I went in what ever direction the wind blew…I wandered aimlessly, lost…I knew to much had happened, I did not even know if I could love her again, as a wife and a lover…but this was not about me, this was not about my wife; this was about a family…

I have seen my counselors in my recovery and I ask them one question. “Of all the children you have seen from divorce, are there any who do not wish it could have been fixed”. Of the probably 15 Dr’s and counselors I have asked they have all told me that in every single case, 100% wish it could have been different.

Your son needs the two of you to stand strong. In my recovery it is interesting because only people who are not from divorced home will say “oh, kids are resilent” or “oh, the kids will be fine”…

My parents are dead now…I never gave up hope of just one more Christmas together…your son will always wonder…he will always hope, in his eyes you will always see it when you drop him off…why not daddy, am I not worth it…

Fight for him Donny…You find a way to win that sweetheart of a woman God gave you back to your heart…I did..

Sometimes my wife forgets that I have placed her on a pedistal, sometimes she tries to open a car door her self and I have to remind her, that is my job…yes sometimes she slips from the pedistal and I have to put her back up there…My little boy now opens the door for me and races to get to his mom’s door.

I remember when we told the kids we were going to work on getting back together. My wife called me that night and told me…

“Our son is happier than I have ever seen him.”

A man in our small group said the other night that he had asked his kids if they were happier after his divorce because the fighting was over and he said my kids said yes. I shared this with my wife and she said “Isn’t that like me asking you if this dress makes me look fat?”. She was right, funny but right.

I remember my dad asking me if I was ok with the divorce, I mean after all my mom was taken ill and was in a rest home. Dad said “A man needs sex” and I said “I just want you to be happy dad”…it was a lie.

I am not preaching bro, but it is possible…it is hard, but it is possible and there is one very good reason for you both to do this…

]]> By: Steve G http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-6123 Steve G Tue, 25 Sep 2007 04:57:00 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-6123 Donny, I serve a God who created the universe, but even bigger than that He healed a relationship broken by porn, prostitutes, affairs and alcoholism...for 8 years I put her throught hell. Through the fog I always knew she was my best friend...she raised our three kids along with God when I was just plain gone, mindless, sick. She was always my rudder in life and when I lost her I went in what ever direction the wind blew...I wandered aimlessly, lost...I knew to much had happened, I did not even know if I could love her again, as a wife and a lover...but this was not about me, this was not about my wife; this was about a family... I have seen my counselors in my recovery and I ask them one question. "Of all the children you have seen from divorce, are there any who do not wish it could have been fixed". Of the probably 15 Dr's and counselors I have asked they have all told me that in every single case, 100% wish it could have been different. Your son needs the two of you to stand strong. In my recovery it is interesting because only people who are not from divorced home will say "oh, kids are resilent" or "oh, the kids will be fine"... My parents are dead now...I never gave up hope of just one more Christmas together...your son will always wonder...he will always hope, in his eyes you will always see it when you drop him off...why not daddy, am I not worth it... Fight for him Donny...You find a way to win that sweetheart of a woman God gave you back to your heart...I did.. Sometimes my wife forgets that I have placed her on a pedistal, sometimes she tries to open a car door her self and I have to remind her, that is my job...yes sometimes she slips from the pedistal and I have to put her back up there...My little boy now opens the door for me and races to get to his mom's door. I remember when we told the kids we were going to work on getting back together. My wife called me that night and told me... "Our son is happier than I have ever seen him." A man in our small group said the other night that he had asked his kids if they were happier after his divorce because the fighting was over and he said my kids said yes. I shared this with my wife and she said "Isn't that like me asking you if this dress makes me look fat?". She was right, funny but right. I remember my dad asking me if I was ok with the divorce, I mean after all my mom was taken ill and was in a rest home. Dad said "A man needs sex" and I said "I just want you to be happy dad"...it was a lie. I am not preaching bro, but it is possible...it is hard, but it is possible and there is one very good reason for you both to do this... Donny,

I serve a God who created the universe, but even bigger than that He healed a relationship broken by porn, prostitutes, affairs and alcoholism…for 8 years I put her throught hell.

Through the fog I always knew she was my best friend…she raised our three kids along with God when I was just plain gone, mindless, sick. She was always my rudder in life and when I lost her I went in what ever direction the wind blew…I wandered aimlessly, lost…I knew to much had happened, I did not even know if I could love her again, as a wife and a lover…but this was not about me, this was not about my wife; this was about a family…

I have seen my counselors in my recovery and I ask them one question. “Of all the children you have seen from divorce, are there any who do not wish it could have been fixed”. Of the probably 15 Dr’s and counselors I have asked they have all told me that in every single case, 100% wish it could have been different.

Your son needs the two of you to stand strong. In my recovery it is interesting because only people who are not from divorced home will say “oh, kids are resilent” or “oh, the kids will be fine”…

My parents are dead now…I never gave up hope of just one more Christmas together…your son will always wonder…he will always hope, in his eyes you will always see it when you drop him off…why not daddy, am I not worth it…

Fight for him Donny…You find a way to win that sweetheart of a woman God gave you back to your heart…I did..

Sometimes my wife forgets that I have placed her on a pedistal, sometimes she tries to open a car door her self and I have to remind her, that is my job…yes sometimes she slips from the pedistal and I have to put her back up there…My little boy now opens the door for me and races to get to his mom’s door.

I remember when we told the kids we were going to work on getting back together. My wife called me that night and told me…

“Our son is happier than I have ever seen him.”

A man in our small group said the other night that he had asked his kids if they were happier after his divorce because the fighting was over and he said my kids said yes. I shared this with my wife and she said “Isn’t that like me asking you if this dress makes me look fat?”. She was right, funny but right.

I remember my dad asking me if I was ok with the divorce, I mean after all my mom was taken ill and was in a rest home. Dad said “A man needs sex” and I said “I just want you to be happy dad”…it was a lie.

I am not preaching bro, but it is possible…it is hard, but it is possible and there is one very good reason for you both to do this…

]]> By: curiousgirl http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-1702 curiousgirl Thu, 13 Sep 2007 09:32:24 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-1702 Donny, As a 32 year old woman who has been married for almost 13 years and has 3 sons, I am curious to know exactly what caused this big epiphany of yours? Granted I haven't read through all of your posts yet so I'm sure it's there somewhere I wanted to know. Personally I like porn. I don't see a problem with it. I watch it or look at it alone and with my husband. Perhaps because I am obviously not into the actual production side of it and I don't feel that there is an addiction issue with it (at least with me), I don't understand the whole "porn is evil" thing. I am a firm believer in to each their own, and I am also a firm "non-believer" in organized religion. My curiosity about your situation has gotten the better of me, and you seem to be very open and honest. Thx!! Donny,

As a 32 year old woman who has been married for almost 13 years and has 3 sons, I am curious to know exactly what caused this big epiphany of yours? Granted I haven’t read through all of your posts yet so I’m sure it’s there somewhere I wanted to know. Personally I like porn. I don’t see a problem with it. I watch it or look at it alone and with my husband. Perhaps because I am obviously not into the actual production side of it and I don’t feel that there is an addiction issue with it (at least with me), I don’t understand the whole “porn is evil” thing. I am a firm believer in to each their own, and I am also a firm “non-believer” in organized religion. My curiosity about your situation has gotten the better of me, and you seem to be very open and honest. Thx!!

]]> By: curiousgirl http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-6122 curiousgirl Thu, 13 Sep 2007 09:32:00 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-6122 Donny, As a 32 year old woman who has been married for almost 13 years and has 3 sons, I am curious to know exactly what caused this big epiphany of yours? Granted I haven't read through all of your posts yet so I'm sure it's there somewhere I wanted to know. Personally I like porn. I don't see a problem with it. I watch it or look at it alone and with my husband. Perhaps because I am obviously not into the actual production side of it and I don't feel that there is an addiction issue with it (at least with me), I don't understand the whole "porn is evil" thing. I am a firm believer in to each their own, and I am also a firm "non-believer" in organized religion. My curiosity about your situation has gotten the better of me, and you seem to be very open and honest. Thx!! Donny,

As a 32 year old woman who has been married for almost 13 years and has 3 sons, I am curious to know exactly what caused this big epiphany of yours? Granted I haven’t read through all of your posts yet so I’m sure it’s there somewhere I wanted to know. Personally I like porn. I don’t see a problem with it. I watch it or look at it alone and with my husband. Perhaps because I am obviously not into the actual production side of it and I don’t feel that there is an addiction issue with it (at least with me), I don’t understand the whole “porn is evil” thing. I am a firm believer in to each their own, and I am also a firm “non-believer” in organized religion. My curiosity about your situation has gotten the better of me, and you seem to be very open and honest. Thx!!

]]> By: Donny Pauling http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-1701 Donny Pauling Mon, 10 Sep 2007 22:15:03 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-1701 Ittybittyblog, I don't the link at all. Thank you for posting it. :) - D - Ittybittyblog,

I don’t the link at all. Thank you for posting it. :)

- D -

]]> By: Donny Pauling http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-6121 Donny Pauling Mon, 10 Sep 2007 22:15:00 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-6121 Ittybittyblog, I don't the link at all. Thank you for posting it. :) - D - Ittybittyblog,

I don’t the link at all. Thank you for posting it. :)

- D -

]]> By: ittybittyblog http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-1700 ittybittyblog Mon, 10 Sep 2007 22:08:57 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-1700 Donny, I don't know you, but I read this post while tag-surfing and it really touched my heart. Thanks for putting your story out there. I posted it on my own blog, hope you don't mind. God Bless Donny,
I don’t know you, but I read this post while tag-surfing and it really touched my heart. Thanks for putting your story out there. I posted it on my own blog, hope you don’t mind.
God Bless

]]> By: ittybittyblog http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/09/07/personal-costs/comment-page-1/#comment-6120 ittybittyblog Mon, 10 Sep 2007 22:08:00 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/09/07/personal-costs/#comment-6120 Donny, I don't know you, but I read this post while tag-surfing and it really touched my heart. Thanks for putting your story out there. I posted it on my own blog, hope you don't mind. God Bless Donny,
I don’t know you, but I read this post while tag-surfing and it really touched my heart. Thanks for putting your story out there. I posted it on my own blog, hope you don’t mind.
God Bless

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