http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/10/28/dear-daniel/ The Blog of Donny Pauling: former porn producer, changed by Grace and Love... Fri, 12 Mar 2010 18:06:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/10/28/dear-daniel/comment-page-1/#comment-1906 Tony Wed, 31 Oct 2007 20:32:37 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/10/28/dear-daniel/#comment-1906 Wow, that was heart warming. thanks for sharing that with us. Wow, that was heart warming. thanks for sharing that with us.

]]> http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/2007/10/28/dear-daniel/comment-page-1/#comment-1905 daniel Mon, 29 Oct 2007 20:12:45 +0000 http://donnysramblings.com/2007/10/28/dear-daniel/#comment-1905 ummmmmmmm... well, i don't know what to say except that this brought me to tears and you know that is not normal for me. i love you donny, you have been the only person that makes me wanna change my life due to the way you talk to me. i hear dad say.." i don't mean to rag on you or criticize you but........" and that's where my thoughts, feelings and attention to the conversation go right out the window. i hear that from him every time i talk to him. i know he means well, but damn, quit telling me the same thing EVERY TIME I SEE YOU!! lol. anyways, we both still know i do have a drinking problem and that's something i need to deal with, but i can say, i am much more proud to say i am an alcoholic, than a meth head like i was... :). you helped me out there a lot and i am forever grateful for that. i know i can quit alcohol. honestly, it is harder than i thought, but like you said, i can go up to anyone, talk to them, and not care what they think about me, so if i have that much strength in me for that, i have enough to quit this addiction also. it's a lot different, the way you try to help me, compared to the way others do. i hear, " want, want ,want" from them, and hear "i'm disappointed in you, but i know you can do it" from you. it hurts worse for me to hear the person who i believe has helped me out the most in life because of how you come across to me, is disappointed in me...... that actually makes me stop and say "what the heck am i doing? this person who has tried to help me out all this time is getting nothing in return" but yet you have stayed there and tried to help me as much as possible. everyone else wants to rag and bitch and think it's gonna help me quit by saying,"oh, it's bad for you" or whatever they say to me all the time. well you know better than anyone else that when i hear someone say something, i do the total opposite because i still hate authority. i gotta just realize that my life was given to me from someone else and i need to straighten up. it still will take some time but i know i will do it. then, i do believe i am going to have a passion inside of me that no one can stop, to help kids,teenagers, and even adults to be able to quit these hard addictions in life. reason being... I HAVE BEEN THERE!! it's easy for someone to say, hey, drugs are bad or alcohol is bad and you need to stop before it kills you.. well, if you haven't been there to experience it.. how can you just say "hey, you need to quit?" it's harder than a lot of people think. i just hope that all these experiences i have had, i can someday save someone's life, the way you saved mine.. actually, i hope i can do waaaayyyyy more than that. i have big dreams but yet because of my past, i don't think i can do them, well, i think i can, but authority figures say i can't do a lot of things i want to but like it says.. through god, all things are possible if you only believe, and i do believe one day that i will be able to be talking or doing something like you are, and touch that one person no one else could've gotten through too, because i have been there, done that, and maybe i will be the one to step up and say something to change this person's life before they get as far as i did and make them realize, hey, my life's not as bad as i thought and i can quit easier than i thought and that's the day i am looking forward too. well, i'll be quiet for now.. lol. but i do thank you for everything you've done for me.. i'm alive. that's something i wouldn't be able to say if you didn't make me move from vegas a while ago.. thank you. ummmmmmmm… well, i don’t know what to say except that this brought me to tears and you know that is not normal for me. i love you donny, you have been the only person that makes me wanna change my life due to the way you talk to me. i hear dad say..” i don’t mean to rag on you or criticize you but……..” and that’s where my thoughts, feelings and attention to the conversation go right out the window. i hear that from him every time i talk to him. i know he means well, but damn, quit telling me the same thing EVERY TIME I SEE YOU!! lol. anyways, we both still know i do have a drinking problem and that’s something i need to deal with, but i can say, i am much more proud to say i am an alcoholic, than a meth head like i was… . you helped me out there a lot and i am forever grateful for that. i know i can quit alcohol. honestly, it is harder than i thought, but like you said, i can go up to anyone, talk to them, and not care what they think about me, so if i have that much strength in me for that, i have enough to quit this addiction also. it’s a lot different, the way you try to help me, compared to the way others do. i hear, ” want, want ,want” from them, and hear “i’m disappointed in you, but i know you can do it” from you. it hurts worse for me to hear the person who i believe has helped me out the most in life because of how you come across to me, is disappointed in me…… that actually makes me stop and say “what the heck am i doing? this person who has tried to help me out all this time is getting nothing in return” but yet you have stayed there and tried to help me as much as possible. everyone else wants to rag and bitch and think it’s gonna help me quit by saying,”oh, it’s bad for you” or whatever they say to me all the time. well you know better than anyone else that when i hear someone say something, i do the total opposite because i still hate authority. i gotta just realize that my life was given to me from someone else and i need to straighten up. it still will take some time but i know i will do it. then, i do believe i am going to have a passion inside of me that no one can stop, to help kids,teenagers, and even adults to be able to quit these hard addictions in life. reason being… I HAVE BEEN THERE!! it’s easy for someone to say, hey, drugs are bad or alcohol is bad and you need to stop before it kills you.. well, if you haven’t been there to experience it.. how can you just say “hey, you need to quit?” it’s harder than a lot of people think. i just hope that all these experiences i have had, i can someday save someone’s life, the way you saved mine.. actually, i hope i can do waaaayyyyy more than that. i have big dreams but yet because of my past, i don’t think i can do them, well, i think i can, but authority figures say i can’t do a lot of things i want to but like it says.. through god, all things are possible if you only believe, and i do believe one day that i will be able to be talking or doing something like you are, and touch that one person no one else could’ve gotten through too, because i have been there, done that, and maybe i will be the one to step up and say something to change this person’s life before they get as far as i did and make them realize, hey, my life’s not as bad as i thought and i can quit easier than i thought and that’s the day i am looking forward too. well, i’ll be quiet for now.. lol. but i do thank you for everything you’ve done for me.. i’m alive. that’s something i wouldn’t be able to say if you didn’t make me move from vegas a while ago.. thank you.

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