The booklet can be downloaded from http://www.challies.com/archives/christian-living/sexual-detox-the-e-book.php

The booklet can be downloaded from http://www.challies.com/archives/christian-living/sexual-detox-the-e-book.php

My justification? Lesser evil. I thought porn was better than one night stands (not that I had had any..) and figured I’ll stop once I start dating. I didn’t. It appears you don’t stop just like that. You’re hooked.

I decided I’ll stop once and for all after I’m married. I didn’t.

It took me over ten years of battling to reach the point where I find myself strong enough to fight all porn and not to give in (when you think about it, porn’s pretty much everywhere, albeit in a different, more subtle and socially acceptable way).

From my point of view the will to cut off porn arises from two loves: love for God and love for your future spouse. (And here, I’m not talking about the sentimental aspect of love, I’m speaking of love as a virtue.)

If only I had been smart enough to concentrate on my future wife (my God relationship was a bit shaky at the time)… but I was young and lacking sight in moral/spiritual aspects.

Thanks, Donny, for making this public. I’m sure lots of people will benefit from this.

My justification? Lesser evil. I thought porn was better than one night stands (not that I had had any..) and figured I’ll stop once I start dating. I didn’t. It appears you don’t stop just like that. You’re hooked.

I decided I’ll stop once and for all after I’m married. I didn’t.

It took me over ten years of battling to reach the point where I find myself strong enough to fight all porn and not to give in (when you think about it, porn’s pretty much everywhere, albeit in a different, more subtle and socially acceptable way).

From my point of view the will to cut off porn arises from two loves: love for God and love for your future spouse. (And here, I’m not talking about the sentimental aspect of love, I’m speaking of love as a virtue.)

If only I had been smart enough to concentrate on my future wife (my God relationship was a bit shaky at the time)… but I was young and lacking sight in moral/spiritual aspects.

Thanks, Donny, for making this public. I’m sure lots of people will benefit from this.

Kids take cues from their parents. If you act like your kid’s porn experimentation has ruined him for life, you send a message: despair, hopelessness, and “you’re a freak.”

I guess I’m saying not to overreact. Don’t get me wrong: do react, respond, take immediate action. But don’t send the message that your kid is damaged goods forever. Your son is discovering his sexuality, and you need to channel that energy into productive directions. The old rules apply: computer in the family room, not the bedroom, etc, etc. Banning him from the Internet seems futile to me. He has access on his cell phone, at the library, at his friends’ house, and at school. At his age, it increasingly becomes about life-training rather than about sheltering.

Give positive messages about sex and bodies and love. If possible, let Dad take the lead; this would be huge! A male needs a godly male to teach him godly sexuality wherever possible. Also, if possible, let both mom and dad communicate a pro-sex message (pro-sex within marriage). Don’t let him confuse anti-porn with anti-sex.

Subtract the emotional baggage: it only makes things worse. Be understanding, rational, respectful, and compassionate. Dignify him, and he’ll learn to dignify others. Be glad he’s interested in women, and tell him so.

Teach him about boundaries, and honor his, and help him honor others’.

Create a compelling vision of lifelong love and marriage. Celebrate monogamy… give him a sense of where his sexuality should take him as a follower of Jesus: into marriage to a woman who loves God and will love him and create a family through which he will serve God and others and uphold their dignity and worth.

Help him understand porn is not a victimless past-time (Donny’s posts will help with this.)

Keep him busy, especially in physical activities, like martial arts (discipline, respect, etc), band, sports, and youth group (where the youth pastor actually has a clue).

Encourage ministry and missions trips (help in youth ministry, music, kids clubs at church).

Pay him to memorize relevant Scripture: Prov 3:1-12 is a good start. Make it worth it for him. Yep, pay him.

Encourage a social life, especially group dating.

Don’t overreact.

Pray for him, and entrust him to God’s care.

Hope this helps.

Kids take cues from their parents. If you act like your kid’s porn experimentation has ruined him for life, you send a message: despair, hopelessness, and “you’re a freak.”

I guess I’m saying not to overreact. Don’t get me wrong: do react, respond, take immediate action. But don’t send the message that your kid is damaged goods forever. Your son is discovering his sexuality, and you need to channel that energy into productive directions. The old rules apply: computer in the family room, not the bedroom, etc, etc. Banning him from the Internet seems futile to me. He has access on his cell phone, at the library, at his friends’ house, and at school. At his age, it increasingly becomes about life-training rather than about sheltering.

Give positive messages about sex and bodies and love. If possible, let Dad take the lead; this would be huge! A male needs a godly male to teach him godly sexuality wherever possible. Also, if possible, let both mom and dad communicate a pro-sex message (pro-sex within marriage). Don’t let him confuse anti-porn with anti-sex.

Subtract the emotional baggage: it only makes things worse. Be understanding, rational, respectful, and compassionate. Dignify him, and he’ll learn to dignify others. Be glad he’s interested in women, and tell him so.

Teach him about boundaries, and honor his, and help him honor others’.

Create a compelling vision of lifelong love and marriage. Celebrate monogamy… give him a sense of where his sexuality should take him as a follower of Jesus: into marriage to a woman who loves God and will love him and create a family through which he will serve God and others and uphold their dignity and worth.

Help him understand porn is not a victimless past-time (Donny’s posts will help with this.)

Keep him busy, especially in physical activities, like martial arts (discipline, respect, etc), band, sports, and youth group (where the youth pastor actually has a clue).

Encourage ministry and missions trips (help in youth ministry, music, kids clubs at church).

Pay him to memorize relevant Scripture: Prov 3:1-12 is a good start. Make it worth it for him. Yep, pay him.

Encourage a social life, especially group dating.

Don’t overreact.

Pray for him, and entrust him to God’s care.

Hope this helps.