Yes, I was a porn producer for 9 years, contracting with Playboy and a group of other well known companies. Yes, I have become a Christian. And yes, I now speak publicly about what goes on behind the scenes here on this blog as well as at numerous Churches and Universities (including Yale University – WOOT!) across this great country of ours. But the reason I speak about what goes on “behind the scenes” of porn is NOT because I have become a Christian. I do so because someone needs to do so. Porn is often portrayed as great fun, happy go lucky, and victimless. The fantasy shown on screen seems fantastic. The realities of porn, however, are not even close. I am a firm believer in freedom of speech and expression, and it is my personal belief that education, not legislation, is what changes hearts. Therefore it is my goal to educate so that those who hear can make a more informed decision. If you’d like to begin the education process, start with some of the stories I tell in the porn stories category on this blog (click here).
My story would not be complete without mentioning XXXChurch.com. They are a group of non-judgmental Christians who love everybody and believe that there is nothing any of us could ever do to make God love us any less. They are a group who do off-the-wall things… like attending porn conventions to share love: doing makeup for the girls at the show and telling them they’re beautiful and loved. They don’t hold picket signs. They don’t condemn. They just love. When I was still producing porn I gave them hatred for 4 years… and in return received love. If you’re in the industry and looking for help, check them out. If you’re sick of looking at porn but for some reason cannot seem to stop, they can also help. Check them out. They listen to a call that really helped change MY life, and the lives of countless others.
ABOUT DONNY
I’m extremely proud to be a good father to a wonderful son. He lights up my life. Until having a child, I wonder if it’s even possible to fully comprehend what it means to love another person. I thank God (and my son’s mother) for the opportunity to experience such love.
Although I was raised as the son of a Pentecostal Pastor while growing up (Pentecostal Church of God), I began making my living producing pornography in the summer of 1997. I continued in the adult industry until Monday, September 25th, 2006. On that day I was driving in my car praying to God. If you’d like to know more of that story, keep reading below, as I share the first 3 pages of the book I’m writing, describing what happened during September 2006.
To find out what God has done in my life since surrendering it to Him in 2006, start with the “Chapters” section of this blog, where I’ve kept a running journal since that September day. Click here.
http://www.myspace.com/gracecrazedragamuffin Todd T
I found your page recently and really enjoy reading your stuff. You write in a very honest and readable style. I encourage you stay open to whatever doors the Lord may open for you to write even more. You have something to say and a nice way of saying it.
I really appreciate your authenticity/honesty and that you aren’t caught up in a bunch of Christianese. While I’ve followed Him for 35 years and have always had trouble with ‘our’ language. Yuck! Stay real and stay in His arms. You’re on the right track.
Check out my blog sometime… I’m truly a grace-crazed ragamuffin. I’m also happy to call you my brother in Him.
Todd
http://www.myspace.com/gracecrazedragamuffin Todd T
I found your page recently and really enjoy reading your stuff. You write in a very honest and readable style. I encourage you stay open to whatever doors the Lord may open for you to write even more. You have something to say and a nice way of saying it.
I really appreciate your authenticity/honesty and that you aren’t caught up in a bunch of Christianese. While I’ve followed Him for 35 years and have always had trouble with ‘our’ language. Yuck! Stay real and stay in His arms. You’re on the right track.
Check out my blog sometime… I’m truly a grace-crazed ragamuffin. I’m also happy to call you my brother in Him.
Todd
maurice1970
Hey Donny,
I found your story about your brother amazing. My sister has gone through virtualy the exact same thing. One of my other sisters helped her through it (with the help of my dad).They were best friends in childhood too (but didn’t shoot eachother in the butt though. Haha!)
I’m not so good at the enforcement stuff but, as i’m a Christian also myself, i prayed hard with my church house group. She then admited herself into an intence detox session which cleared her out. She was rock bottom and has now vowed to “never cross that road ever again!” in her own words. She’s just completed a 36km sponsored swim (in stages) for a UK cancer care charity. Amazing! She’s still rebuilding her life but her progess is astounding!
God bless you and Daniel sir.
Maurice O’Riordan
maurice1970
Hey Donny,
I found your story about your brother amazing. My sister has gone through virtualy the exact same thing. One of my other sisters helped her through it (with the help of my dad).They were best friends in childhood too (but didn’t shoot eachother in the butt though. Haha!)
I’m not so good at the enforcement stuff but, as i’m a Christian also myself, i prayed hard with my church house group. She then admited herself into an intence detox session which cleared her out. She was rock bottom and has now vowed to “never cross that road ever again!” in her own words. She’s just completed a 36km sponsored swim (in stages) for a UK cancer care charity. Amazing! She’s still rebuilding her life but her progess is astounding!
God bless you and Daniel sir.
Maurice O’Riordan
http://morefire.wordpress.com/ storbakken
God bless you, brother. I found myself in a similar situation in December 2005. I am a writer/editor and was contributing to several porn magazines and Web sites as well as music magazines (Rolling Stone, High Times, etc). In December ’05 I had a change of heart and since then my whole life has turned 180 degrees. Thank God for His grace. You can read my testimony on my blog if you’re interested. God bless and thanks for being a light unto others.
God bless you, brother. I found myself in a similar situation in December 2005. I am a writer/editor and was contributing to several porn magazines and Web sites as well as music magazines (Rolling Stone, High Times, etc). In December ’05 I had a change of heart and since then my whole life has turned 180 degrees. Thank God for His grace. You can read my testimony on my blog if you’re interested. God bless and thanks for being a light unto others.
Thanks for telling the story here. Please continue to. AND continue showing others (like myself) where you’re finding such life, such struggle and tension. Continue pointing us in the direction. None of us can go it alone. We need the voices. We all have a story to tell. Best, df
http://www.beyondimensions.blogspot.com fischer
Donny.
Thanks for telling the story here. Please continue to. AND continue showing others (like myself) where you’re finding such life, such struggle and tension. Continue pointing us in the direction. None of us can go it alone. We need the voices. We all have a story to tell. Best, df
http://www.mandikaye.com Amanda
I just wanted to tell you how inspiring you are. Thank you for being so open and transparent with your story.
http://www.mandikaye.com/ Amanda
I just wanted to tell you how inspiring you are. Thank you for being so open and transparent with your story.
Adam
Congrats on the one year anniversary of being out of porn!
Adam
Congrats on the one year anniversary of being out of porn!
plc
dude: it’s great to know you. I’m so glad that you don’t feel compelled to be churchy, or fit into a religious mold. People need you to be real, not churchy. Remember: God’s love for you is not your decision. It’s God’s final choice. And you don’t have anything to say about it!!
“Love never fails.”
best wishes always~
plc
dude: it’s great to know you. I’m so glad that you don’t feel compelled to be churchy, or fit into a religious mold. People need you to be real, not churchy. Remember: God’s love for you is not your decision. It’s God’s final choice. And you don’t have anything to say about it!!
“Love never fails.”
best wishes always~
Josh.
Hey man.
This is Josh, from the Londen institute.
We would like to invite you to speak at one of our sevices.
Who do I contact to arrange that?
Thanks man!
Josh.
Hey man.
This is Josh, from the Londen institute.
We would like to invite you to speak at one of our sevices.
Who do I contact to arrange that?
Thanks man!
http://www.cowgalutah.wordpress.com/ cowgalutah
Nice place here! I think I’ll do some looking around. I’ve come via Recreation’s site.
http://www.cowgalutah.wordpress.com cowgalutah
Nice place here! I think I’ll do some looking around. I’ve come via Recreation’s site.
http://web.mac.com/thevisualedge Chris
Dude, your story is fan-freaking-tastic. Keep up the awesome work and may God continue to show you amazing new things every day.
http://web.mac.com/thevisualedge Chris
Dude, your story is fan-freaking-tastic. Keep up the awesome work and may God continue to show you amazing new things every day.
Uli
Thank you, dear man, for sharing your story. You have ministered to me this morning, very helpful indeed.
Bless you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uli
Uli
Thank you, dear man, for sharing your story. You have ministered to me this morning, very helpful indeed.
Bless you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uli
Kathryn
I’m sure that you’ve probably figured this out by now, but just in case, that song is from a band called Shaded Red and I think it’s called “When God Ran” they’re great and if you don’t mind i’m going to send them this so they know that God used them to touch you.
Almighty God.
The great “I AM”.
Immovable rock.
Omnipotent.
Powerful.
Awesome Lord.
Victorious warrior.
Commanding King of Kings.
Mighty conqueror.
And the only time… the ONLY time I ever saw Him RUN…
Was when He ran to me, took me in His arms,
Held my head to His chest, and said “My son’s come home again!”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise when God ran
Kathryn
I’m sure that you’ve probably figured this out by now, but just in case, that song is from a band called Shaded Red and I think it’s called “When God Ran” they’re great and if you don’t mind i’m going to send them this so they know that God used them to touch you.
Almighty God.
The great “I AM”.
Immovable rock.
Omnipotent.
Powerful.
Awesome Lord.
Victorious warrior.
Commanding King of Kings.
Mighty conqueror.
And the only time… the ONLY time I ever saw Him RUN…
Was when He ran to me, took me in His arms,
Held my head to His chest, and said “My son’s come home again!”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise when God ran
Bruce
Totally praising God for His work in your life!
Bruce
Totally praising God for His work in your life!
james hogan
I’ve never heard the song, but I know the feeling. I was a junkie when God ran after me. In the hearts of everyone I knew–and even myself–I wasn’t worth running after anymore. I was only worth running after to the One I didn’t know… God.
Congratulations brother on being found…and finding you in Him. You didn’t earn it, but none of us do.
Keep being loud and courageous in Him… you’re helping change lives.
james hogan
I’ve never heard the song, but I know the feeling. I was a junkie when God ran after me. In the hearts of everyone I knew–and even myself–I wasn’t worth running after anymore. I was only worth running after to the One I didn’t know… God.
Congratulations brother on being found…and finding you in Him. You didn’t earn it, but none of us do.
Keep being loud and courageous in Him… you’re helping change lives.
Dan Prater
Donny:
It is amazing that in this universe, God not only know us, but he has a desire to be intimate with us.
What’s more, is that God has a specific plan for all of us. Look at you…He knew from the very beginning what you’d go through. He knew how you’d become fooled by Satan, led into a world of sin and sickness. But He never gave up on you.
I work in a nonprofit business that helps children who have been abused and neglected. Most are from families that have been deceived by Satan. They are serving self and drugs/alcohol. But they have hope, too.
Thanks again for sharing your powerful story of salvation.
Dan Prater
Springfield, MO
Dan Prater
Donny:
It is amazing that in this universe, God not only know us, but he has a desire to be intimate with us.
What’s more, is that God has a specific plan for all of us. Look at you…He knew from the very beginning what you’d go through. He knew how you’d become fooled by Satan, led into a world of sin and sickness. But He never gave up on you.
I work in a nonprofit business that helps children who have been abused and neglected. Most are from families that have been deceived by Satan. They are serving self and drugs/alcohol. But they have hope, too.
Thanks again for sharing your powerful story of salvation.
Dan Prater
Springfield, MO
Lumu Kabongo
Donny,
Our Redeemer lives! He Is the Same yesterday, today and forever! I lift up the Name of The Almighty!
Thank you for your story which is inspiring and motivating, for there is nothing that impossible to JEHOVAH EL SHADDAI. He takes the broken pieces of a life and mend them together to make a vessel of honor for the glory of His Name!
I need your permission to share your story with my family, friends and congregation.
May God bless you and use you in a mighty way.
Lumu Kabongo
South Africa
Lumu Kabongo
Donny,
Our Redeemer lives! He Is the Same yesterday, today and forever! I lift up the Name of The Almighty!
Thank you for your story which is inspiring and motivating, for there is nothing that impossible to JEHOVAH EL SHADDAI. He takes the broken pieces of a life and mend them together to make a vessel of honor for the glory of His Name!
I need your permission to share your story with my family, friends and congregation.
May God bless you and use you in a mighty way.
Lumu Kabongo
South Africa
Tina B
What an amazing testimony. I loved reading your testimony about the conditions you gave God in order to surrender your life! Because we’ve all done it. And you’re right.. God wants us to want Him without conditions. That was so insightful. Thank you for letting God use you as a vessel for change. From a woman’s perspective…..thank you.
Tina B
What an amazing testimony. I loved reading your testimony about the conditions you gave God in order to surrender your life! Because we’ve all done it. And you’re right.. God wants us to want Him without conditions. That was so insightful. Thank you for letting God use you as a vessel for change. From a woman’s perspective…..thank you.
http://chucksplace.wordpress.com/ Chuck
Awesome.
http://chucksplace.wordpress.com/ Chuck
Awesome.
Christopher
I was exposed to porn at the age of 7 and became an addict instantly. 30 years of struggle later, a failed marriage, failing out of college, I am still struggling to deal with this issue in my life. Though I accpeted Christ 15 years ago, only recently did I decide to get baptized and join a local church. Stories like this give me great hope. Thank you so much for posting this…
Christopher
I was exposed to porn at the age of 7 and became an addict instantly. 30 years of struggle later, a failed marriage, failing out of college, I am still struggling to deal with this issue in my life. Though I accpeted Christ 15 years ago, only recently did I decide to get baptized and join a local church. Stories like this give me great hope. Thank you so much for posting this…
Brenda
Would like to talk more about your thoughts on Bethel.
Brenda
Would like to talk more about your thoughts on Bethel.
Donny, what an incredible story you have. I praise God for His power — literally shocking power!– in your life.
Thanks for mentioning and directing people to my Website about why I left, and continue to stay away from — the Mormonism I once loved. I never thought about it before, but the lure of any past that was away from God will always be a battleground for our minds, right?
Donny, what an incredible story you have. I praise God for His power — literally shocking power!– in your life.
Thanks for mentioning and directing people to my Website about why I left, and continue to stay away from — the Mormonism I once loved. I never thought about it before, but the lure of any past that was away from God will always be a battleground for our minds, right?
Donny, What an incredible testimony of your encounter with God. It’s also awesome that He used “When God Ran” (about the father in the Prodigal Son), to connect with you. It was written by Benny Hester in 1985, and both Phillips Craig and Dean, a trio of pastors, and Shaded Red (mentioned above), recorded versions released in 1999. It was a major hit for PCD, who made a (video) for it. As you can see by the other comments, you’re a strong example to follow, so thanks for leading by example!
Will “not the actor” Smith
Donny, What an incredible testimony of your encounter with God. It’s also awesome that He used “When God Ran” (about the father in the Prodigal Son), to connect with you. It was written by Benny Hester in 1985, and both Phillips Craig and Dean, a trio of pastors, and Shaded Red (mentioned above), recorded versions released in 1999. It was a major hit for PCD, who made a (video) for it. As you can see by the other comments, you’re a strong example to follow, so thanks for leading by example!
Christine Dodge
Thank you so much for being transparent about your life. After loosing my husband of 25 years, and now finding reason to be concerned about my young adult sons, I am starting to look into this information because it is so pervasive from one generation to another. I remember my sons finding my husbands pron in his car…I was so angry, now I am just so sad, because I have not really understood.
However, I have had my own temptations and struggles in life though not understanding why I just find all I want to do is stamp a giant:NECESSARY!!!
across them because that is what brought me to HIM!
God Bless You Donny…Christine
http://tessdodge@aol.com Christine Dodge
Thank you so much for being transparent about your life. After loosing my husband of 25 years, and now finding reason to be concerned about my young adult sons, I am starting to look into this information because it is so pervasive from one generation to another. I remember my sons finding my husbands pron in his car…I was so angry, now I am just so sad, because I have not really understood.
However, I have had my own temptations and struggles in life though not understanding why I just find all I want to do is stamp a giant:NECESSARY!!!
across them because that is what brought me to HIM!
God Bless You Donny…Christine
http://www.leighkennedymusic.com/ Leigh Kennedy
Hello Donny Pauling,
My name is Leigh Kennedy,
I am 17 turning 18 on May 26.
I am a Christian Singer/Songwriter.
My home church is Planetshakers City Church in Melbourne, Australia.
Apart from receiving great help, advice and prayer from Planetshakers, your testimony really compelled me to stop looking at porn and stop masturbating!
You are an amazing Man of God!
I love the song ‘When God Ran’ by Phillips, Craig and Dean too.
That song along with many Planetshakers songs helped.
God Bless,
Leigh Kennedy
http://www.leighkennedymusic.com Leigh Kennedy
Hello Donny Pauling,
My name is Leigh Kennedy,
I am 17 turning 18 on May 26.
I am a Christian Singer/Songwriter.
My home church is Planetshakers City Church in Melbourne, Australia.
Apart from receiving great help, advice and prayer from Planetshakers, your testimony really compelled me to stop looking at porn and stop masturbating!
You are an amazing Man of God!
I love the song ‘When God Ran’ by Phillips, Craig and Dean too.
That song along with many Planetshakers songs helped.
Yes, I was a porn producer for 9 years, contracting with Playboy and a group of other well known companies. Yes, I have become a Christian. And yes, I now speak publicly about what goes on behind the scenes here on this blog as well as at numerous Churches and Universities (including Yale University – WOOT!) across this great country of ours. But the reason I speak about what goes on “behind the scenes” of porn is NOT because I have become a Christian. I do so because someone needs to do so. Porn is often portrayed as great fun, happy go lucky, and victimless. The fantasy shown on screen seems fantastic. The realities of porn, however, are not even close. I am a firm believer in freedom of speech and expression, and it is my personal belief that education, not legislation, is what changes hearts. Therefore it is my goal to educate so that those who hear can make a more informed decision. If you’d like to begin the education process, start with some of the stories I tell in the porn stories category on this blog (click here).
My story would not be complete without mentioning XXXChurch.com. They are a group of non-judgmental Christians who love everybody and believe that there is nothing any of us could ever do to make God love us any less. They are a group who do off-the-wall things… like attending porn conventions to share love: doing makeup for the girls at the show and telling them they’re beautiful and loved. They don’t hold picket signs. They don’t condemn. They just love. When I was still producing porn I gave them hatred for 4 years… and in return received love. If you’re in the industry and looking for help, check them out. If you’re sick of looking at porn but for some reason cannot seem to stop, they can also help. Check them out. They listen to a call that really helped change MY life, and the lives of countless others.
Watch Craig Gross and I debate Porn Stars Ron Jeremy and Monique Alexander at Yale University on ABC’s Nightline Face Off – click here (then scroll down to where it says “Nightline Face-Off: America Addicted to Porn?”).
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