Update:  Sunday, June 1, 2008
Craig and I received the following email earlier today:

From: Tom Elliott
To: Donny Pauling, Craig Gross
Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2008 at 3:48 PM
Subject: Tomorrow

Hey, guys –

Bad news. We’re going to have to take a rain check on tomorrow’s segment. I’m unable to provide a lot of detail, but the short story is that Laura will not be hosting the Laura Ingraham show for the foreseeable future. This just developed over the weekend, so I apologize for the late notice. Could someone please contact Ron, or should I? Whatever’s easiest. (I don’t have an email address, and don’t really want to bother him on a Sunday.)

I do hope we’ll still be able to air this segment; it likely will just have to wait a little while.

Thanks,

Tom

Tom Elliott
Executive Producer
The Laura Ingraham Show

This coming Monday (June 2nd) I’ll be on the Laura Ingraham Show along with Craig Gross and Ron Jeremy (the famous porn star). From the call I received last Tuesday, someone from the show saw the debate at Yale on Nightline ABC. From what I gather, this will be more of a discussion than a debate. I’m also told Laura is syndicated on more than 340 stations and has 6 million listeners. I haven’t checked those numbers for myself, but that’s a lot of people, people!

To see when Laura’s show broadcasts in your area, and on which station, click here.

Added 12 Feb, 2008: ABCNews Coverage of this event has begun. Click here.

On February 15th, the day after Valentine’s Day, Craig Gross and I will be debating Ron Jeremy and Monique Alexander at Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut (click here and scroll down to Feb 15th). This debate caps off “Sex Week at Yale” (if you’re wondering exactly what “Sex Week” is, click that link).

Martin Bashir from ABC’s Nightline will be the host of this debate. This debate was originally scheduled to have been filmed back in November at Ohio State University (click here and here for blog entries I made about it previously), but Nightline was called off at the last minute on another story. The debate went on, just without ABC’s camera crew or Martin Bashir as the moderator.

To be honest, I’m more excited about speaking at an Ivy League University than I am about being on Nightline debating Ron Jeremy.

Since Nightline pulled out last time I wanted to be sure this event is indeed moving forward before telling you about it. My contact at ABC called today to finalize travel and hotel arrangements.

It’s on!

Written yesterday while on a jet flying to Ohio. Gotta love Journler.

I’m on an airplane bound for Columbus, Ohio. Tomorrow morning Jason Harper and I will be speaking at a Porn and Pancakes event in Dayton. Jason will then fly home to celebrate his son’s birthday. I’ll stay in Ohio for an event I’ve been looking forward to for several weeks. It’s been tough to keep quiet about it, but now that the airing of the event on Nightline has been postponed I guess I’ll tell you about it before it happens:

Live in front of 3,500 students at Ohio State University, porn stars Ron Jeremy and Nina Hartley will be debating Craig Gross and yours truly on the topic of Pornography. Craig and Ron normally debate each other. This time it’s two on two at the request of the crew from Nightline. Martin Bashir from Nightline was supposed to have been the moderator. Unfortunately, filming has been postponed, as Martin was called off just yesterday to a story he’s been following for quite awhile. I’ve been assured the planned filming will happen in the near future, but for now we’ll debate in front of those in attendance. I’m very excited about it. When he first found out the tv crew wasn’t going to be there, Ron’s agent wasn’t sure if he’d be okay with Nina and I appearing at the debate… and at first he wasn’t. But this morning I received word from Craig that Ron had changed his mind and is welcoming us.

To be honest, I’m not all that disappointed at the lack of TV cameras. When the new date is scheduled I’ll have had one “practice” debate, so to speak. Wait, that kinda sounds bad. Please don’t take it that way. This debate is just as important without the cameras as it will be with them. It’s just that I’ve been feeling a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect. After this weekend I’ll have a better idea of the keypoints Ron and Nina use for their “pro porn” arguments. I like that idea.

I’m flattered Craig invited me to be at his side (thanks, Craig). The debate begins Sunday night at 8pm eastern time/5pm Pacific Time. If you’re of the praying persuasion, please talk to God for us.

Amusing (to me anyway) side note: I have my iTunes playing songs at random. Guess what just started playing? Yep. Turn The Page by Metallica. That song was sent to me through iTunes several months ago by a friend who was giving me a hard time as I told her I was on my way to a speaking engagement. She was warning me against getting a “big head”. I really find it funny that it started playing as I wrote about yet another speaking engagement. The lyrics go something like this:

Here I am,
On the road again.
There I am,
Up on the stage.
Here I go,
Playin’ star again.
There I go…
Turn the page.

That may be amusing, but God, I never want to feel like I’m a “star”. I never want that to happen. There have been a handful of people in my life who have asked me if I ever start feeling that way, and I want you to keep putting them in my life to keep me accountable. But I do thank you for giving me a battle to fight. Every man needs one because it makes us feel like our life means something. Thank you for using me in this one.

The headline on the front of the Chico News & Review reads:
“Not-So-Naked Ambition: Former Local Porn Producer Finds God”

The inside of the paper tells the story:

Click here to read it online. If you’re local, the story was printed this past Thursday (August 2, 2007). Pick up a copy and let me know what you think.

PS – If you read the story and have questions about that “seminary” part: yes, it’s true… I’m in the process of enrolling in Seminary. Lots of paperwork, I tell ya! In a few years, if all goes as planned, I’ll actually be “Pastor Donny”. From Porn Producer to Pastor? Weird, eh? Wendy doesn’t like the sound of it, for some reason. It’s been a “done deal” for quite awhile now, I just haven’t blogged about it here yet (XXXChurch has on their blog and on their MySpace page). It’s on the list of things to tell ya.

“I earn $X,XXX per dealership. I have X dealerships as clients.”

“I’ve spoken at this event and that event. I received $X,XXX to speak.”

“I’ve been on this news show. I’ve been written about in that paper. I’ve been given this book offer.”

———-

The following is a direct quote of something that was recently written to me. I’ve edited nothing. There’s an f bomb or two in there, so if that offends you feel free to skip this part. Here’s what she wrote (I changed nothing – not even spelling or punctuation errors):

actually donny i give you props for being fairly slick.

you play up the “i’m a christian” part. you make sure to keep in contact with those you now “pray” for (if you don’t get it then i’m talking about those that sell porn). and the best part, you CASH in on all of this.

damn boy, do i see the next Jim Bakker before me?

you know when you first said that you “found” god (oh and by the way, where was god and what does god look like….just so i know in case i run into this “god”), i was all for your decision. you know – whatever makes a person happy type thing even though it goes against my beliefs.

then you started in with this whole ex gf thing and that just creeped me the fuck out. i had visions of jack nicholson from the shinning with him using the ax to get into the bathroom door (sans donny). you started losing me at this point because i really started to question whether or not you were really “christian”.

but now i get it – you are the true american capitalist. if you aren’t going to make money in porn (and you were doing VERY well for yourself), then you sure as hell (oops said that word – oh well i’ll be there soon enough so…) are going to make it on the extreme opposite end of the spectrum. kudos to you for making money anyway you can.

however, how many times and how may people are going to hurt and drag down along the way? don’t say you’re not because in a very real sense – you are.

i have no problem with someone who wants to believe in something – something where it helps them get through the day. what i have a problem with is fake, bullshit, self appointed, propoganda. and that is what you are doing my friend. you are USING those around you for your OWN BENEFIT and i don’t believe that god, jesus or mary, for that matter, would find it amusing.

i have read your blog, i actually enjoyed your writings even though i don’t agree with your beliefs, and i really wanted to believe that you believed what you had written. however, i have now come to the conclusion that it’s fake and it sickens me.

———-

From numerous books I’ve read, it seems many men have a need to feel validated by how well we can provide. Our self confidence is often directly related to our earning power.

I am one of those who demonstrate the truth to that line of thought. My self esteem is often in direct proportion to how much money I’m making. Not necessarily because I want to have money in the bank, but because I want to feel like I am worth something. Does that make any sense?

The three lines that started this blog entry are lines that have escaped my mouth on numerous occasions in numerous conversations. The first two lines fall right into that whole “need to provide” idea. The last one is pure ego.

There, I said it. I was honest. The truth is that I like the media attention I’ve received. I could sit here at my keyboard and try to pretend I don’t. That wouldn’t be true. I like the attention. I like the fact that people want to read what I have to write, or hear what I have to speak.

But what Cassie may not realize is that I do believe what I write here. I do believe the things I say about God. I do believe he has saved my life. But that doesn’t mean I’m perfect.

I know… I know… many Christians want people to think that giving one’s life to God means everything is suddenly fine and dandy. Hunky Dory. But that’s not the case at all, is it? I’m still a really screwed up person. I’m working on it, but the progress is excrutiatingly slow.

I’ve got this big ol’ ego on one shoulder that’s countered by this inner self-esteem problem. When the ego’s in charge, I brag. When the self-esteem problem takes over, I talk about people wanting to listen to me speak or book deals or… whatever. Why? Because I’m trying to “prove” that I mean something.

You might be thinking, “Donny, God is your self esteem. God is your source of power. It’s all about him. It’s not about you.”

I know all those things. Believe me, I do know those things. But knowing something and acting on it… well that’s two separate animals, isn’t it? For me it sure is.

I’m not beating myself up over these character flaws. What’s the point in doing so? All I can really do is acknowledge they exist and try to change them, asking for God’s help. The thing is, God’s not going to wave a magic wand and whisk all the bad stuff away. That would compromise free will, wouldn’t it? I’m still going to be me and I’m still going to have to fight my battles and I’m going to have to choose to accept that I CAN conquer these “personal demons”, with His help.

We’re not expected to be perfect, thank God. You’ll likely hear me refer to the following scriptures over and over and over again. I do so because this passage gives me hope and makes me feel like I’m not the only one who constantly screws up.

Here’s Paul, the man who wrote the majority of the New Testament, and the man who was used by God in such powerful ways, writing this about himself (Romans 7:15-25):

What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

UPDATE July 3rd, 2007: Many of these links are apparently temporary. For some reason when I click on them now I’m taken to a new story. Weird! I have saved the article from the New York Times as a PDF file (click here to download it). If anyone happened save the others please let me know.

A few facts were slightly off in the story, but for some reason having my name mentioned in the New York Times seems more exciting than any other media mention:

click here to read the story

The author of that article (James Prichard) met with Craig Gross, J.R. Mahon and me after the Pastors and Church Workers Convention I recently mentioned. We all sat around in a room together talking about… well, ourselves. I really liked that reporter and I’m glad to see his article make the New York Times. Apparently, the way it works is that he writes an article for the Associated Press, for whom he’s worked for quite some time, then he puts it “on the wire” and publications across the country are free to pick it up and run the story. That’s a very basic explanation, but close enough.

So here’s to him… and us!

It was also nice of them to put a link to this blog on their site. If you’ve found this blog by clicking over from one of these articles, welcome! Feel free to bookmark my site or add it to your RSS reader or iGoogle page. Stay awhile.

Nifty.

Here are other publications that ran the same story (wow this list is getting LONG):

1. Yahoo! News
2. San Diego Union Tribune
3. The Chicago Tribune
4. Miami Herald
5. The Washington Post
6. The Detroit News – Big Photo Here
7. Town Hall – Washington, DC
8. The Journal Gazette – Fort Wayne, Indiana
9. The Eagle – I have no idea what The Eagle is, but they posted a few photos too, so I wanted to link to their publishing of the story
10. The Daily News – Long View, Washington
11. The Pueblo Chieftain – Pueblo, Colorado
12. The Waterloo Record – Canada
13. Centre Daily Times – Pennsylvania
14. The News Tribune – Washington
15. North County Times – San Diego area
16. San Mateo County Time
17. South Bend Tribune – South Bend, Indiana
18. Wood TV – Grand Rapids, Michigan
19. Grand Haven Tribune – West Michigan
20. WXYZ TV – Detroit, Michigan

There are several other places where this story ran. I just haven’t been able to track them all down yet. If you’ve seen it somewhere that’s not listed here please let me know.

Craig Gross and Donny Pauling at the Creative Infusion Conference

Craig Gross from XXXChurch emailed me and let me know about it. He reposted the video on the XXXChurch site. Click here to see it.

I have to tell you something about all of this news media stuff, though. First of all, I’ll admit that I like it. It’s a lot of fun to see yourself on the news. Now I’ll do the cliché thing and say it’s not about me and it’s all about God and blah blah blah. The thing is, I really mean it. I am so honored to be used by God after what I’ve done with my life. I tell him that all the time. I love him very much.

I screw up all the time, yet he still uses me. I’ve got so much work left to do, yet he still says, “I’m going to use your story to reach into the lives of others”. I am absolutely sure some of the choices I make really disappoint him. I’m such a stubborn fool.

Yet he chooses to use me.

He lets me stand up in front of hundreds (sometimes thousands) of people and talk about… me. And Him.

It’s overwhelming. And humbling. And an awful lot of fun.

God, thank you. Please don’t give up on me. I really want to do my best, even if my attitudes don’t always show it.

While in Fort Wayne, Indiana for Porn and Pancakes a few weeks ago the Indy Channel in Indianapolis interviewed me. I have no idea whether or not the full story will ever be available online, but take a look at the trailer:

Donny and XXXChurch on the Indy Channel – Click Here

Let me know what you think…

TIPS ON MAKING THE VIDEO WORK: I had a problem getting the video to work for a second. I ended up having to click the black area a few times, then clicking the play button after that. It finally worked.

By the way – this will be a very busy week: I’ll be speaking at a conference in Michigan on Thursday and Friday, then flying back here to speak at another Porn and Pancakes event (this time in Redding – my hometown). I love it.

According to this article, tomorrow night “Porn and Pancakes” will be featured on the CBS Evening News With Katie Couric. I have no idea if I’ll be in the footage or not, but the story should be good, no doubt.

The footage was shot just a few weeks ago (I blogged about it here).

IMG_3378.JPG
Originally uploaded by xxxchurch.

Seeing myself on film, I realize I’ve still got a long way to go in the weight loss department.

This was shot April 21, 2007. I was being interviewed at the Porn and Pancakes event in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Click photo to enlarge. Wait a second… that might not be such a good idea.

I’ve got another 25 lbs to go to reach my goal.

Footage from this particular Porn and Pancakes event will end up on the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric sometime this coming week. If my luck is as good as last time (when CNN‘s Anderson Cooper sent his team to the last P&P) all footage of me will be cut from the final story.

I’m okay with that.