Yesterday I bought a beard trimmer. My face was really scruffy and I wanted it neatly trimmed.

Today I used the beard trimmer. I was impressed. It’s a nice one with nifty features.

I decided to use the beard trimmer to cut my hair. This turned out to be a mistake. In hindsight, I suppose the word “beard” in beard trimmer should have tipped me off. If it was meant for heads I suppose it would be called “head trimmer”.

After using the not-head-trimmer on my dome, my hair was very unevenly cut. I could have showered, put on a hat and headed to Supercuts for all to be made well.

But thats what sane people would do.

Instead, I got out the razor and shave gel.

(ps: the scruffy face had to be shaved to match…it was just the right thing to do)

Several months ago I started a Bible Reading Plan that would take me through the Old Testament in a year.  I found that particular plan to be too taxing. I don’t just want to read but to study the text I am reading.  I have the Logos 4 Platinum Package which gives me an incredible amount of resources from which to learn (click here for the complete list of what it contains).  I tried as hard as I could to keep up, but stopped reading somewhere between the middle of 1 Samuel and the beginning of 2 Samuel.  Three or more chapters per day was just too much to study the way I want to study.

Today I started a new reading plan.  This time I’m using a plan I custom created from within my Logos 4 Software (watch a software demo here).  There are 929 chapters in the Old Testament (well, more if one is Catholic or Orthodox – which I am not) so I decided to have the software create a plan that would take 929 days, yet give me weekends off.  Click click click – DONE! An average of one chapter per day should be much more manageable, and perhaps with the time to study deeper, I’ll recall more for the long term.

I could have picked up where I left off, thereby avoiding the task of studying the same chapters over again that were gone through in my last reading plan.  But as I told my son this morning, every time I read the Bible I learn something new.  So I begin yet again with Genesis 1.  Today’s reading begins with Genesis Chapter 1 verse 1 and ends at Chapter 2 verse 3… the creation account.

I started by reading the full text from my chosen translation (I like the TNIV), then opened up my three favorite Commentaries: The New Bible Commentary, The Bible Knowledge Commentary, and The Pulpit Commentary.  On many days, depending on how mentally alert I feel, I’ll go on to read other commentaries, passages from related books, or even famous sermons on the passage being studied.

For today’s reading, The New Bible Commentary is great at laying out what many Christians believe:  the 6 day account in Genesis 1 was not referring to literal days.  It gives good reasons why this is likely the case, which is why I’ve quoted what it says, in its entirety, about today’s passages.

Should you like to share your opinions on whether or not the Genesis 1 account refers to literal days, please take the time to first read the following commentary and then tell me why you think it is wrong.

Click to Enlarge - Screenshot of Study Page

COMMENTARY #1 (of several I read today): The New Bible Commentary

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1:1–2:3 Prologue: God creates the world

This opening section of Genesis stands outside the main frame of the book set by the ten headings, ‘This is the account of’ (2:4 etc.). This shows that it is a prologue to the rest of the book, setting out who God is and how he relates to the world. It thus provides a key to the interpretation of Genesis, if not the whole Bible. But this prologue is more than a statement of theology, it is a hymn of praise to the Creator through whom and for whom all things exist.

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The prologue itself is carefully arranged. Ten divine commands result in eight acts of creation spread over six days, so that there is a correspondence between days one to three and days four to six. On day one, God created ‘light’ and on day four, ‘lights’ (sun, moon and stars); on day two, he created the sky and sea and on day five, the dwellers in the sky and sea (birds and fish); on day three, he created the land and vegetation and on day six, the dwellers in the land (animals and mankind), giving them plants to eat; finally, on the seventh day (the Sabbath), he rested.

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The works of creation moved to a climax on day six when mankind was created in two sexes. That this is seen as the crowning feat of God’s creation is emphasized by the lengthy comments on their creation and role (1:26–29), which are much fuller than those about any other creature. Indeed, the works of the five preceding days seem to focus on creating a home for mankind. Those aspects of creation that most affect human existence (e.g. plant and animal life and the sun and moon) are described more fully than the creation of light, land, or seas, which are less significant. God’s concern for humanity is made explicit in the provision of plants for food.

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It also seems likely that the emphasis on God creating for six days and then resting on the seventh is deliberate. God’s mode of working was to be a model for human activity. People, who are made in the image of God, are expected throughout the Bible to imitate God. So, as God worked for six days and then rested on the seventh day, human beings are to work for six days and rest on the seventh (Ex. 20:8–11).

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The concern with human life on earth, which is apparent in this narrative read by itself, is the more obvious when it is compared with other ancient oriental accounts of creation. Genesis is implicitly rejecting other views of the gods and their relationship with the world. Here we have no story of how gods fought, married and bore children; there is but one God, beyond time and sex, who was there in the beginning. He created all things, even the sun, moon and stars, which other peoples often held to be gods in their own right. He required no magic to do this; his word was sufficient by itself. According to the Genesis account, there is one God, the sovereign Creator, to whom all the universe owes its being and whom it is expected to obey. Within that created universe, men and women have a place of honour, having been made in the divine image. We reflect God’s nature and represent him on earth.

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1:1–2 The beginning of creation

The NIV accepts the traditional understanding of these verses, namely that they describe the very first act of creation, when God created all matter (the heavens and the earth) out of nothing. But the earth immediately after creation was formless and empty, i.e. unproductive and uninhabited. So the narrative then proceeds to relate how in six days God organized this chaos into the well-ordered world we now see.

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Some modern translations and commentators understand v 1 differently. Some (e.g. the NEB) take it simply to be defining the situation when God started to create, ‘In the beginning when God created … the earth was formless …’ Others simply regard v 1 as a summary title to the first chapter. But neither view is as likely as that adopted by the NIV. ‘Create’ is something that only God does (the verb is used only of God in the OT). He demonstrates his power by creating marvellous and unexpected things (Nu. 16:30), e.g. great sea creatures (21), men and women (27) and mountains (Am. 4:13).

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V 2 pictures the world as dark and desolate, covered by water and with the mysterious Spirit (or ‘wind’) of God hovering above the ocean. The suggestion here of a power within the Godhead is developed further by Pr. 8:22–31 and Jn. 1:1–3, which speak of ‘wisdom’ and ‘the Word’ assisting in creation.

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1:3–23 Creation continued

1:3–5 The creation of light. The dark world was lit up when God said, ‘Let there be light’. More precisely, day was distinguished from night by the creation of light. Light is a form of energy and may be produced in many different ways, not just by sun and stars (which were not created until the fourth day). Contemporary cosmologists say that the universe began with a hot big bang, which must have made a very bright light. Order began to appear and replace dark chaos. The refrain God saw that [it] was good (cf. vs 10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31) affirms the intrinsic goodness of the creation and its Creator.

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Note. It is possible that the order of evening-morning in And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day (cf. vs 8, 13, 19, 23, 31) reflects the Hebrew concept of the day beginning with sunset and ending with the following sunset. What matters most to Genesis, however, is that God worked for six ‘days’ and then rested. In that these are days of God’s activity not human work, it is unlikely that they are supposed to last twenty-four hours. Indeed, the Hebrew word for ‘day’ covers a variety of periods: the hours of daylight (Gn. 29:7), a twenty-four-hour day (Gn. 7:4) or an indefinite period (Gn. 35:3). That they were different from ordinary days is shown by the non-existence of the sun until the fourth day. Another hint that creation did not take six literal days is the mention of the creation of the heavens and the earth, i.e. the unorganized universe (1) before the six days were counted down. Finally, it should be noted that 1:1–2:3, unlike all other sections of Genesis, is not headed by the title ‘This is the account of’, which links the proto-history (2:4–11:26) to the patriarchal history (11:27–50:26). All these differences indicate that 1:1–2:3 serves as an overture to the rest of the book and that it may not be intended to be taken as literally as what follows. Nevertheless, that God worked for six days and rested on the seventh day (however long by human reckoning his ‘days’ were) is a pattern for mankind to follow.

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1:6–8 The separation of the waters. God showed his power again by putting limits on the waters which had hitherto covered the globe (cf. Jb. 38:8–11). Some were confined to the seas, the rest to the sky. The upper waters were kept there by the ‘expanse’ or ‘firmament’ (AV). From earth the sky (firmament) appears to be a sort of dome that prevents the waters in the clouds falling to earth (cf. 7:11).

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1:9–13 The creation of land and plants. Even more important for mankind was the provision, on the third day, of dry land, on which he could live, and plants to sustain life (cf. 1:29–30). The distinct varieties of plants (11–12) bear witness to God’s organizing power, and these distinctions should not be blurred (see the rules against mixed breeding in Lv. 19:19; Dt. 22:9–11).

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1:14–19 The creation of the heavenly lights. Even more powerful proof of God’s creative power, and ever pertinent to human existence, are the sun, moon and stars. Pagan contemporaries of Genesis regarded these bodies as gods in their own right. To avoid any suspicion that the sun and moon were anything but created by God, Genesis calls them just lights. They were appointed to regulate the fundamental rhythms of human life by defining day and night and the seasons of the year.

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1:20–23 The creation of birds and fish. The parallel between God’s work on the first three days and the second three days now becomes clear. On day one, light was created, on day four, the heavenly lights; on day two, sky and oceans, on day five, birds and fish. Once again, Genesis is stressing God’s concern for order. ‘The great sea creatures’ were regarded as divine in some ancient myths; Genesis insists that they were merely some of God’s creatures. Furthermore, God wanted the waters and air to be filled with his creatures, and his command and blessing guaranteed their fertility. No magic or fertility rites were needed to secure it.

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1:24–31 The creation of animals and mankind

The creation account reaches its climax on the sixth day. Note how much fuller the description of God’s work on this day is than for any of the preceding days and the parallels with the words of day three (land).

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Here Genesis defines mankind’s purpose and place in God’s plan. God says man is to be made in our image, in our likeness. This means that mankind, both male and female, is God’s representative on earth. Ancient oriental kings were often seen as bearing the image of their god, but Genesis affirms that every human being is made in God’s image. The NT affirms that Christ is ‘the image of the invisible God’ (Col. 1:15), ‘the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being’ (Heb. 1:3). Such an understanding of the divine image was beyond the reach of the human author of Genesis, but he alludes to another dimension of it by the comment ‘Let us make man in our image’ (26). Here God is pictured talking to the angels, the only allusion to other supernatural beings in this chapter. This remark implies that man is like both God and the angels. (Traditionally, Christians have seen us and our to allude to the other persons of the Trinity. While this is a quite legitimate fuller interpretation, it is not the words’ primary meaning.)

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Secondly, because human beings are created in God’s image they are his representatives on earth and should ‘rule … over all the earth’ (26). Ps. 8:4–8 offers a marvellous poetic comment on this idea. Rule implies lordship but not exploitation. Man, as God’s representative, must rule his subjects, as God does, for their own good. While legitimizing human use of the world’s resources, God gives no licence for our abuse of his creation.

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Thirdly, God deliberately created humanity in two sexes to be fruitful and increase in number. He thereby blessed sexual intercourse and indicated its importance in his plan. Other ancient tales, hailing from urban Mesopotamia (which was worried by population growth), tell of the gods taking steps to curb human fertility by sending plagues, famine, flood and miscarriage. The God of Genesis repeatedly urged the first people to be fruitful (1:28; 8:17; 9:1, 7) and promised the patriarchs that they would be successful in fathering innumerable children. Sex is thus seen as an important part of God’s very good creation (31).

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Fourthly, God provided food for mankind in the form of seed-bearing plants and fruit trees (29). Not until after the flood was meat-eating expressly sanctioned (9:1–3). Genesis, however, is not primarily interested in whether people were originally vegetarian but in the fact that God provided them with food. In Mesopotamian mythology the gods created man to provide themselves with food; Genesis affirms it was the other way round, that God feeds mankind (cf. Pss. 65; 50:7–15).

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2:1–3 The holy seventh day

A dramatic change of pace and style highlights the distinctiveness of the Sabbath. The seventh day is not called the Sabbath here, but it is alluded to, for he rested could be paraphrased ‘he Sabbathed’. Furthermore, the seventh day’s importance is underlined by God blessing it and making it holy. The Sabbath is regularly called ‘holy’, but only in Ne. 8:9, 11 is any other festival called ‘holy’. Here, God is described as resting on the seventh day, but the narrator clearly implies that mankind, made in the divine image, is expected to copy his Creator. Indeed, the context implies that a weekly day of rest is as necessary for human survival as sex (1:27–28) or food (1:29). This is an emphasis that seems to have been forgotten today, even amongst Christians.

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Note. Genesis 1 and science. Genesis and modern science are answering different questions. Genesis explains who God is and how he relates to the created world. Science elucidates the God-given laws that explain natural phenomena; and from these laws scientists can work backwards to trace the course of the universe’s development. Science makes us aware of the infinite power and wisdom of the Creator, but it cannot explain God’s purpose in creating the universe, or his character. Genesis is not dealing with the issues raised by twentieth-century science but with ideas current in the ancient orient over 3000 years ago. Over against the polytheistic world-view that held there were many gods and goddesses of varying wisdom and power, Genesis declares there is but one God of absolute power and holiness. Rejecting the ancient view that mankind was simply created as an afterthought which the gods later regretted, Genesis affirms that man was the goal of creation and that his welfare is God’s supreme concern. These principles are reaffirmed repeatedly throughout Scripture, but they are set out with exemplary clarity in Genesis 1 and are central to what the author was trying to say. Modern readers should concentrate on these original intentions of Genesis and not bring to the text scientific issues which are foreign to its purpose.

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Carson, D. A. (1994). New Bible commentary : 21st century edition (4th ed.). Leicester, England; Downers Grove, Ill., USA: Inter-Varsity Press.

For those who have asked, I wanted to give a little insight into how I study the Bible. This is it. If you can afford to do so, I highly recommend obtaining a copy of Logos 4.

God, why did I cheat on my wife? Why did I throw away my family? Why did I think producing pornographic content would fulfill me more than her?

Oh, that I could have realized then what I realize now, this handful of years later:
She was so very amazing! Why didn’t I see that I could be just as aroused by my wife – an arousal that was instituted, with love, by you – as I always thought I’d be by other women? Why did I buy into the lie that sex with my wife was boring? I saw through that one two months after our separation, even in the midst of so much self delusion, when I started trying to explain to the new girl what it meant to have love and commitment…. the same things my wife used to say to me, receiving the same blank, uncomprehending stare from me that I received from “the new girl” each time the subject arose.  Pearls, cast before swine.

Why did I have to learn the hard way? Why couldn’t I have just listened and learned when others spoke about the life lessons they’ve learned? Why couldn’t I use the knowledge of their mistakes as an inspiration to avoid mistakes of my own?

And why now, a decade later after all has been lost (but which you can always restore) and I’ve finally accepted your love, can I not get through to so many of the 4 million plus I’ve spoken in front of – allowing the lessons I’VE learned and the things I’VE lost to inspire them to avoid the same pitfalls?

Our enemy doesn’t sleep, God.  Perhaps we shouldn’t either?

Y’all know what type of work I was doing as recently as 2006.  What a change to be able to say that this coming Saturday, July 17th, 2010… I will be performing my first wedding! My cousin Kristin is marrying the man of her dreams, Josh, and she asked me to be the man that marries them.

Ain’t that a kick in the pants?

I’m nervous, people!

Think again… Anne Jackson talks about her porn addiction:

Click To Play

Later I want to tell you a little more about how Fireproof Ministries at one time supported my son and his mother when I couldn’t do so myself… KEEP READING! But first…

LET ME SHOW YOU SOME OF THE THINGS FIREPROOF MINISTRIES DOES

Jesus Loves Porn Stars:  Setting Up Booths at Porn Conventions

I first met the founders of Fireproof Ministries at a porn show. Their booth was much simpler than it is in this photo: back then it just said “XXXChurch.com – the number one Christian Porn Site”. I thought they were there to make fun of Christians, and I was all over it. I despised Christians, and anything that would poke at them was great in my opinion. I quickly discovered, however, that these people were manning a booth that was doing crazy things: showing love to a group of people at whom most Christians shouted hatred.  Some of those crazy things include doing make up for the girls who are hired by porn companies to run around being groped by porn convention visitors.  When those girls, someone’s daughter – someone’s sister, were sitting in the XXXChurch makeup chair, however, they’d hear words like this: “You’re beautiful.  God loves you.  There is nothing you can do to change that.  We think He has more for you than this, and if you’d like to talk, we’re here to listen.”

As even my own personal story demonstrates: non-judgmental love, which is Jesus’ love personified, changes people.

“Jesus Loves Porn Stars” Bibles

One year Fireproof started handing out Bibles that said something crazy on the cover:

“Jesus Loves Porn Stars”

On the back it asks the question, “Does Jesus Really Love Porn Stars?” The answer is given:  “Absolutely.  That might go against what you’ve heard about Jesus, but it’s true.  Jesus loves porn stars as much as He loves pastors, soccer moms, liars, thieves and prostitutes.  We’re all the same to Jesus.  We’re all just people who need God to save us from the mess we’re in and lead  us to a better way.  So what you’re holding in your hands is a straightforward telling of the story of Jesus…And in it you’ll read about the love-revolution that inspired the women and men who first experienced it to change the world forever.”

Thousands of these Bibles are given away free at porn conventions around the world.  Every one of them was made possible by donors.

Writing “Loved” on Brothel Walls

From teams of women who go into strip clubs to give roses and water to the dancers, to groups of people who want prostitutes to realize they are loved by the Creator of the Universe, Fireproof ministries reaches out to groups many others ignore or despise.  They recently did a make over on a real Nevada Brothel – not the part where the girls worked, but the disgusting area in which they lived when off duty.  On the walls they painted the words “Loved”.  The owner of this brothel welcomes the team to come back, and has even asked them to take certain workers away from the business after a heart softened by love-in-action recognized that an employee desperately needed to get out.

Embroidering “Loved” on Brothel Sheets and Pillowcases

In addition to painting the walls, the bedclothes were embroidered with the words “Loved.”   The team wasn’t there to pass judgment on the prostitutes to whom they were reaching out… they were there to show love in action, rather than just in words.  The staff of Fireproof Ministries believes God’s love really can change a person’s heart, and life.

Witnessing a group of people do things like this really got to me.  For the last four years of my porn-producing career, I watched this group work.  I’d go back and forth between being civil to them, and verbally attacking them, yet their message of love was consistent with the actions they showed towards me.  As that love broke down my walls of hatred and I could no longer justify to myself the things I was doing, I began to talk to God.  When I finally surrendered my life to Him, Craig Gross was the first person I called, and he sent one of the Fireproof Ministries pastoral staff to my house to spend time with me, a flight from Michigan to Northern California – the cost of which I was never asked to reimburse: donors made it possible.

Can you understand why I want to support this group of people?  Does it make a little more sense now? Will you help me do so by sponsoring me for this bowl-a-thon?

AND THAT IS WHY AM I PARTICIPATING IN A BOWL-A-THON

Fireproof Ministries (which includes XXXChurch.com, StripChurch.com and HeartSupport.com) does these types of things and many others that are “out of the box”…. which makes some people raise their eyebrows, while others think they’re the most relevant ministry ever.  When I was a Christian-hating porn producer, their approach to ministry really reached me.  They changed my opinions on what it means to be a Christian, which in turn took away my anger at the church, which eventually led to a place where I surrendered my life to God.  I know the leadership very well, and there is not a single person that doesn’t love God and have a heart for those who are in the gutter looking for a way out of it.

On my Bowlfest 2010 personalized donor page I listed a few personal reasons for doing this – here’s what I wrote:

I have a hard time asking people for money, even for such a great cause as this. But I want to share with you why I’m doing this:

This ministry has changed my life.

Let me explain… I produced porn for 9 years. I hated Christians. I despised the church. I was fueled by this rage. Fireproof ministries broke that hatred down over the course of four years. As they showed what it looked like to be Jesus in Skin, loving where others had hated, my heart softened and I couldn’t justify what I was doing with my life anymore. I reached out to God.

When I left porn I needed help. Fireproof was there being Jesus in Skin again. When they flew a Pastor to my house in California from their offices in Michigan (at the time) I wasn’t charged a dime. When they helped support my son after I’d lost all my income, they didn’t ask for a dime in return. When I mentioned wanting to go to Seminary they stepped up again, paying for my schooling.

Things like that take money. Helping raise that money is one way I can give back. Will you help me reach my goal? I’d appreciate it. Here’s what we’re doing:

On April 24th, I am going to risk total exhaustion, a coronary and possible carpel tunnel to help make a difference. You too can help by sponsoring me in the Bowlfest 2010 bowl-a-thon! I am going to bowl 100 frames to benefit Fireproof Ministries. Fireproof Ministries has several different ministries which are: XXXchurch.com (xxxchurch.com), The Strip Church (stripchurch.com), and Heart Support (heartsupport.com). I would love to make it to my goal of $25/frame ($2,500). I thank you for any donation you can give and remember all donations are tax-deductible!

If you’d like to read more about what this ministry means to me, check out this page on my website: http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/about/

FIREPROOF SUPPORTED MY SON

When I left the porn world I hadn’t saved any money.  I’d made a lot of it, and blew enormous amounts on trivial things because porn “would always be around so why save now?”  Thing is, my child support payments were incredibly important to my son and his mother.  Not being able to provide for them was not only a blow to the ego, but an enormous weight on my mind.  I couldn’t help talk about it, and Fireproof listened.  Checks began to arrive in the mailbox of my ex-wife, helping to pay my child support for the few months it took before I figured out how to support myself and my most important obligations.

FIREPROOF PAID MY TUITION

When I made it known that I wanted to enroll in a Seminary Program, not only did Craig Gross, co-founder of Fireproof Ministries, help me find a good school, he also paid my tuition through the ministry’s Esther Fund.  They do this because they are being Jesus in Skin.  This is a ministry that does a lot more than talk the talk.  They didn’t drag me out of the gutter and then send me on my way, alone.  Instead, they helped where most others never would have:  emotionally, spiritually, big time financially – we’re talking tens of thousands of dollars for ME ALONE.

This amazing ministry is only possible because of donations.  Christians who donated to this ministry in the past allowed Fireproof to be Jesus in skin, and that changed my life.  Let me restate that:  the very Christians I used to hate changed…my…life… even as I hated them. Talk about living up to the term “Christian”…

I realize there are a lot of non-profit companies to whom you can donate your hard earned money.  But I’m sure you understand why this one is personal, and why I’m asking you to sponsor me for Bowlfest 2010 today.  This fund raiser only comes once a year, and this is the first year I’ve participated.  I want to reach my $2,500 goal (or exceed it), and I’m asking you to help me do so.  No matter if it’s $5, $10, $100 or whatever… every single penny helps me get closer, and I thank you for it.

The whole reason for this post is this:  I REALLY need more sponsors.  In addition to the amount that has been donated on this online donor page, I’ve also raised an additional $600 in offline pledges, which at this precise moment (2:45pm PST on April 14th, 2010) brings me to an embarrassing grand total of $1055 (before I’ve counted any contributions of my own).  I won’t settle for anything less than $1,500 AT MINIMUS so if nothing else comes in between now and Bowlfest, I’ll make up the difference personally.   Still, I’d REALLY like to exceed the $2,500 goal I mentioned on my donor page, and every single bit counts.  Counting online and offline pledges, so far I’ve received a handful of $25 donations, a few $50 and $100 donations, one $200 donation and one $300 donation.  Every single bit adds up to bringing me closer to my goal, and I appreciate each one immensely.

As the thread title mentions, even a currently active porn producer made a pledge.  Why?  It was given because that producer knows this ministry is the real deal.  In fact, even porn star Ron Jeremy has donated this year, though not to me.  He is one of Craig‘s Bowlfest sponsors.  Even though he doesn’t agree with Craig’s views on porn, he respects this ministry.  That’s saying something.

Can you help too?  Either

make an online donation here using paypal, a credit card, or a bank account

… or

email me and let me know if you’d rather make an offline pledge.

And thank you for reading this!

An email I just sent out to every person in my contact list:

First of all, please know that I’m sending this email as a blind carbon copy to absolutely every email address in my google contacts. I probably should have sorted them out, ’cause of the hundreds and hundreds of email addresses, I’m sure some of you don’t talk to me anymore. If that’s the case, allow me to apologize in advance for my laziness in hitting “select all” for the bcc field.

Here’s why I’m emailing you:

Bowlfest is an annual fund raiser for a group I love called “Fireproof Ministries”… their best known ministry is called XXXChurch.com. I usually don’t participate in fund raisers because I absolutely hate raising sponsors. I agreed to do so this year, however and am down to the wire now (I have a matter of a few days before all sponsor info is due to be turned in). Here is a page with the details of what I’m trying to do and WHY I’m putting down my ego (seriously, this part is very hard for me) and asking for sponsors: http://bit.ly/ckPNeu

I’ve committed to raising $2,500 for Fireproof. I still need to raise another $1,750 – you can see how badly I’ve sucked at reaching my goal – hee hee. I’m asking for sponsors from:

-Pastors of churches where I’ve spoken to see if their church or men’s group will consider being a sponsor.
-Business owners.
-Friends and family.
-Etc.

If you fit the bill and are wiling to sponsor me, please let me know. You can do so on the page I linked to, or you can reply to me and have Fireproof send a sponsor sheet. Again, I’m sending this to hundreds of you at once so please don’t feel singled out or obligated. And, again, you can read more info here: http://bit.ly/ckPNeu

Thanks, guys! This is very important to me and I appreciate your consideration.

- Donny -
http://www.DonnyPauling.com

This is a letter to my brother, Daniel, who is in a Teen Challenge Program overcoming his addictions. He’s had problems with drugs and alcohol since he was a teenager, but only recently decided to take responsibility for himself and seek help. I’ve helped him several times over the years, and finally threw up my hands in frustration and limited all communication with him.

Until recently, that is…

You see, my brother finally took responsibility for his actions and sought out help. He’s enrolled in a Teen Challenge program in Arkansas. And I couldn’t be prouder.

The first letter he sent after being in there was one of discouragement. It was addressed to my mom ’cause he and I haven’t been talking much. She shared it with me. I knew it was coming. It’s normal to be down in the dumps when starting a program such as this. He threw out things like, “I want to be in a program that teaches me what alcohol does to my body” and “this isn’t even a rehab – I thought it was…” and “they force me to read the Bible all the time” and “they don’t have work placement assistance after the program is over” and… blah blah blah. I smiled as I read through his excuses. I knew he was in those initial stages of settling in, and he was looking for any excuse to leave. So I broke my silence and wrote to him. Here’s what I wrote (for the record when his name is mentioned, Caden is my son):

Daniel,

Mom let me read your first letter. I’m not surprised you’re not the happiest camper right now. But I am asking a favor of you: do NOT walk away. Hear me out.

First of all, I want to address one thing you mentioned. You said that you wanted to know what alcohol does to your body. I’ll tell you and save you the trouble of transferring to a place that educates you about it. You ready? This is gonna be heavy:

It screws it up!

That’s really all you need to know. Honestly. Addictions have stolen your life from you and ruined relationships, including ours. What more do you need to know?

Now, let me tell you this: I could NOT POSSIBLY BE MORE PROUD OF YOU THAN I AM RIGHT NOW! The only way you can take that away from me is to quit. You work your butt off in there, okay? Trust God. I know that sounds cliché and sometimes worthless after all the things we’ve felt about Him, but I know this: you’re in the right place.

The fact that teen challenge isn’t a “rehab” is actually perfect for you. You’ll eventually see that. Your eyes are going to be opened and you’re going to see life from a bigger perspective. If you can’t trust God on this, trust me. I can promise you that if you finish this program your life will be infinitely better.

But as I said before, I am asking you as a personal favor to stay in the program. I’m pretty confident our relationship will be restored through this. In fact, I have one more favor to ask of you: study the Bible with me. Here’s what I mean by that… let’s choose a topic. Or if they assign topics to you, write to me about them. Then let’s talk about them. I purchased this Bible Software called Logos 4 Platinum. It’s very expensive software and worth every penny. There are more than 3,500 books included. The Bible is coming alive for me because of it. I’ve actually WANTED to read it and haven’t really read much else for awhile now.

I’m emailing you, but if they reply to me and tell me that they can’t print it out and give it to you I’ll do so myself…. print it out and mail it regularly. I just wanted to get a response to you as soon as possible.

I’m going to mail some envelopes and stamps so you can write to whomever you wish. Let me know when you’re low on supplies like that.

I’ve been reading through the website for the Arkansas program. I know you’re not seeing it right now, but God’s all over it. You’re life will be changed if you let it. I’m asking you to do so.

One thing you’ll find is this, Daniel: most rehabs treat the symptoms of problems. This one treats the cause. The focus on God is important because once you’ve finally encountered Him, the root issue is then being treated. Your heart is where the problem lies. You need to know who you are. You need to know how HE sees you. That information needs to sink into your heart, not just into your ears.

You are my brother. There has never been a time when I’ve not loved you, but there sure has been times I don’t want to talk to you. The reason is because you were not willing to take responsibility and do what it takes to get what you need. NOW you are doing that. STICK WITH IT. STICK WITH IT. STICK WITH IT.

Did I mention that I want you to stick with it?

By the way, I’m also convinced there’s a big huge GOD PLAN involved in your being at the Arkansas facility. That makes it just a bit more difficult to run away. And stop being concerned about being close to family. Right now it’s time to focus on Daniel. Right now it is OKAY to be selfish. In fact, that’s exactly what you need to do: focus JUST on yourself and God. Don’t worry about what you’re going to do for work after you get out. There is not a single doubt in my mind that will turn out just fine.

Since I don’t know what you’re currently studying, I’m gonna take a few minutes to figure out a Bible study that I want to do with you. This is just us… you and me…. Donny and Daniel… studying the Bible. What an awesome thing to do. I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do tonight. In fact, just so you know, this is my weekend with Caden. You KNOW I never take any time away from that, but I am doing so right now. I read your letter to mom while I was cooking dinner for Caden. I couldn’t wait to reply. I know you’re feeling down, but that is expected for awhile. I know you don’t like rules, either. None of us do. But I’m asking you to submit yourself to those rules. Make a choice to trust God that no matter how silly a rule might be, following it is what you need to do right now. I promise, in the future you’ll see a purpose in every single “petty” rule. The way the rules make you feel is up to you. You can feel joy or anger. It’s your decision. Seriously.

Also: I’ve posted on twitter and facebook how proud I am of you. Some of my facebook friends have promised to write to you, too.

Okay… anyway… on to the Bible Study.

Even more shocking than finding out that I like reading the Bible is finding out that I like reading the Old Testament. It’s seriously cool once you learn to study it – to dig into the context of it. To find out what it meant to the people who wrote it or to the people who read those original documents. I’ve been telling Bible stories to Caden in a way that really captures his mind. I just interrupted his video game playing and asked him to tell me which story he likes most so I can share it with Uncle Daniel. He told me that he wants me to tell you the story about the “guy with the 300 men”… he’s talking about Gideon. So here goes…. this could get long.

The story of Gideon focuses on his struggle to overcome fear. The Midianites along with other eastern peoples had oppressed Israel for seven years (Judges 6:1–10). They had basically taken everything away from Israel. God wasn’t protecting them because they had this really dumb habit of turning to idols when they were comfortable. What I mean is this: they served God when they needed Him, but after He’d done so many great things for them they’d always decide to “fit in” with the people around them and serve the stupid gods worshipped by the people they lived around.

Anwyay, God came to Gideon and challenged him to lead Israel like a “mighty warrior” (Judges 6:12) and get rid of the people oppressing them. What you need to know, though, is that Gideon was the least important person in his family. And his family was the least important family of all the families in Israel. Gideon really didn’t have any self confidence. He actually couldn’t believe God would choose him to do anything of importance. One thing you’ll see as you study the Bible is that God often asks the least likely people to do His work. Israel’s first king (Saul) actually was from similar circumstances: an unimportant man in an unimportant family.

Anyway, back to Gideon.

Gideon passed his first test of faith by tearing down the altar of Baal that belonged to his father (people actually wanted to kill him for doing that). That was significant because he was showing God that he wanted to get away from the false gods yet again and worship the one true God. After tearing down the altar to Baal he prepared for battle against the Midianites. By setting out a fleece of wool, he devised a test to learn that God was really with him (Judges 6:36–40). Why did he do that test? Once again, he wasn’t sure God really would use him. He kept having to test God to make sure. His self confidence wouldn’t let him believe it.

At first Gideon gathered 32,000 soldiers, but God tested Gideon’s courage once again. So that HE was the one who received credit for the victory, He initially reduced Gideon’s army to ten thousand. It went kinda like this: “If I let you take 32,000 men with you, when you win you’ll be tempted to think it was because of your big army. I want you to know that you couldn’t have done this without me. I want you to be certain that I’m doing this for you.” But even 10,000 men were too much. God whittled Gideon’s army down to only the three hundred who “lapped the water with their tongue like a dog” when they stopped for a drink (Judges 7:5). These three hundred were selected because they showed that they were more watchful for the enemy. Here’s the part that really kicks butt: those 300 men were going up against THOUSANDS of trained soldiers. But here’s what they did: They split into three groups and surrounded the camps of their enemy. All they had to do was blow trumpets and break the pots that covered their fire lamps. The Midianites were confused and started killing each other because they thought there were huge amounts of Israelites in their camp. Usually for every person blowing a horn and holding a lamp there were a TON of soldiers behind them. So when they saw and heard 300 people doing this, they were convinced there were enemies swarming all over them.

So in spite of a weak leader, small army, and the foolish weapons of trumpets and torches, Israel won the day because of the power of God (Judges 7:22). Now that he was no longer afraid of battle, Gideon went out and humbled the cities of Succoth and Peniel, which had refused to gave aid to his fatigued army (Judges 8:4–17). By executing the Midianite kings, Zebab and Zalmunna, Gideon avenged his brothers (Judges 8:18–21) who had been killed by those kings. He pretty much became a major butt kicker.

Thing is… Gideon wasn’t some perfect man. He ended up marrying all sorts of women, having 70 kids, etc. But that’s kinda the point: God often picks insignificant, imperfect people to do His work. Not only does He do so in order to make it clear that HE is the one in charge, He also does so to make the point that none of us are truly unimportant. There is something for all of us to do.

Read through the passages I mentioned and let me know what your thoughts are. Share with me anything you get out of them. I want to know. This kind of thing gives us a common focus, so study with me, my brother. Please? Instead of seeing the Bible as pointless and boring, I think you’re going to find the same thing I have: it’s pretty deep. We’re not just reading at surface value… let’s find out what lessons we can learn that apply to US. Okay?

Let your mind relax there at Teen Challenge. Trust that you’ll see a bigger plan as time goes on. You’re really treating the root of the problem now, instead of just the symptoms. I’ve been really getting to know God, and that’s what ends up changing everything. Once “getting to know God” becomes real to you, instead of something dumb that you just hear in church, you’ll start noticing that the problems in your life are being treated. THAT is the beauty of Teen Challenge. So, again, just go with it. Finish it. What if it fails? Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, just trust. I’m asking that as a favor to me, which you’ll eventually see was a favor to you.

Your very proud brother,

Donny

For someone going through a program like this, letters are very important. If you’d like to say something encouraging to my brother, or to send him, say, an encouraging postcard, here is the address to send it to:

Daniel Pauling
C/O Teen Challenge
P.O. Box 8177
Hot Springs, AR 71910

TO FIND OUT WHAT IT’S LIKE TO PRODUCE PORN, BE SURE TO READ MY LETTER TO MUSICIAN JOHN MAYER- CLICK HERE

In an internet discussion with a bunch of guys who think porn’s great, I shared a few of my “porn stories”, which you, my constant readers, have all read.  There are always all sorts of reasons/objections these guys use to explain why each story “isn’t my fault” or to find somewhere else to pass the buck of blame.

I decided to look for other stories of reality, so I went to the website of  former porn star Shelley Lubben and found some really sexy facts:

• 66% of porn stars have Herpes, a non-curable disease.
• Chlamydia and Gonorrhea among performers is 10x greater than that of LA County 20-24 year olds.
• 70% of sexually transmitted infections in the porn industry occur in females.
• 25 HIV cases among porn performers since 2004 reported by Adult Industry Medical Healthcare.
• 20 suicides and 28 drug related deaths among performers that we know of since 2000.
• Over 100 straight and gay performers died from AIDS.
• The largest group viewing online pornography is ages 12 to 17.
• More than 11 million teens regularly view porn online.
• Worldwide pornography revenue in 2006 was $97.06 billion. Of that, approximately $13 billion was in the United States.
• There are 4.2 million pornographic websites, 420 million pornographic web pages, and 68 million daily search engine requests.

She has links to references backing up those stats at the bottom of the page, and a few “happy happy joy joy” stories from porn stars some of you might recognize over on this page. Beautiful stories, no? Check them out:

“I did over 100 xxx hardcore movies where I was slapped, hit, choked and forced to to sex scenes I never agreed to.
As I did more and more scenes I abused prescription pills which were given to me anytime I wanted by several Doctors in the San Fernando Valley. I was given Vicodin, Xanax, Norcos, Prozac and Zoloft.” – Michelle Avanti

My first movie I was treated very rough by 3 guys. They pounded on me, gagged me with their penises, and tossed me around like I was a ball! I was sore, hurting and could barely walk. My insides burned and hurt so badly. I could barely pee and to try to have a bowel movement was out of the question. I was hurting so bad from the physical abuse from these 3 male porn stars! – Alexa Milano

“People in the porn industry are numb to real life and are like zombies walking around. The abuse that goes on in this industry is completely ridiculous. The way these young ladies are treated is totally sick and brainwashing. I left due to the trauma I experienced even though I was there only a short time.” – Jessie Jewels

“I had bodily fluids all over my face that had to stay on my face for ten minutes. The abuse and degradation was rough. I sweated and was in deep pain. On top of the horrifying experience, my whole body ached, and I was irritable the whole day. The director didn’t really care how I feltt; he only wanted to finish the video.” – Genevieve

“They told me if had my AIDS test that I’d be safe. I arrived on the set with my test and did a hardcore scene with two men. Within that week I was very sick with a fever of 104 and blisters all over my mouth, throat and private area. I looked like a monster. The doctor told me I had the non-curable disease Genital Herpes. I wanted to die.” – Roxy aka Shelley Lubben

“The truth is I let my lifestyle get the best of me. I hate life. I’m a mess. A disaster. I’ve attempted suicide many times.”
“No one cares about a dead porn star or stripper.” – Neesa

“Guys punching you in the face. You have semen from many guys all over your face, in your eyes. You get ripped. Your insides can come out of you. It’s never ending.” – Jersey Jaxin

“I found out 2 days later that I had caught gonorrhea in my first scene! As quick as that the glamour of being a porn star was gone. In the five years I was shooting I caught Gonorrhea and Chlamydia many times. Sometimes both at the same time about every 3-5 months.” – Nadia Styles

“As for myself, I ended up paying the price from working in the porn industry. In 2006, not even 9 months in, I caught a moderate form of dysplasia of the cervix(which is a form of HPV, a sexually transmitted disease) and later that day, I also found out I was pregnant. I had only 1 choice which was to abort the baby during my first month. It was extremely painful emotionally and physically. When it was all over, I cried my eyes out.”- Tamra Toryn

“My first scene was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was very scary. It was a very rough scene. My agent didn’t let me know ahead of time… I did it and I was crying and they didn’t stop. It was really violent. He was hitting me. It hurt. It scared me more than anything. They wouldn’t stop. They just kept rolling.”
“Drugs are huge. They’re using viagra. It’s unnatural. The girls will be on xanax and vicodin.” – Sierra Sinn

“I didn’t want to feel the pain of penetration from an over average sized man, being told to freeze in a position until the camera man was happy with his shots was very painful. I had peoples body fluids forced on my face or anywhere else the producer pleased and I had to accept it or else no pay. Sometimes you would get to a gig and the producer would change what the scene was supposed to be to something more intense and again if you didn’t like it, too bad, you did it or no pay.” – Elizabeth Rollings

“I went through more heartbreaks and became suicidal. I was taken to the hospital for panic attacks. I tried to overdose on xanax, strangle myself, and cut my wrists but not nearly deep enough. I was too scared of the pain. I prayed God would just take me away! I felt helpless. I even went to church for a few months but the guilt I felt was overwhelming that I would feel as if I were choking when I was at church. I had to choose and once again I chose to continue sinning. It was easier and I needed the money.” – Crissy Moran

“I hung out with a lot of people in the Adult industry, everybody from contract girls to gonzo actresses. Everybody has the same problems. Everybody is on drugs. It’s an empty lifestyle trying to fill up a void.”
“I became horribly addicted to heroin and crack. I overdosed at least 3 times, had tricks pull knives on me, have been beaten half to death- the only reason I am still here is God. – Becca Brat

“We should think about these issues right now, to change stuff around to make this a safer f**kin’ business. It isn’t a safe business, and I thought it was, and I would have not did that scene with no condom with Darren James if it would have crossed my mind that those tests weren’t good and that I couldn’t trust him or the people he’s been with. I thought porn people were the cleanest people in the world, is what I thought.” – Lara Roxx, diagnosed with HIV in April, 2004 along with four other porn stars.

How well does this match up to the sexually appealing picture trying to be portrayed on screen?  Witnessing these types of things in person is the biggest reason I can honestly say I’m not attracted to porn.

Written about me in a public internet discussion:

Donny sounds like he’s got a savior complex.

My thoughts on the matter:

Dunno what you’d call it, but I can tell you it feels good to get it out and talk about it, telling people about reality and letting them choose what to do with the info.

It’s healing to have people tell you that your words influenced their life. Once in awhile, a marriage is saved. Sometimes a guy will talk about how his fascination with porn was taken away and he spends more time with his wife because of it. Women have cried into my shirt thanking me for taking responsibility and apologizing for producing something that ruined their marriage. Others have spewed a bit of hatred, which is fine too.

All of these things give me a sense that some good can come from the bad things I’ve done, and that is quite therapeutic.

Feel free to call it savior complex, if that’s how you perceive it. :) Doesn’t hurt my feelings.

Most of all, it is very encouraging to know that God really can use all things for good, as he says.