Awaiting my return flight to Sacramento at Orange County Airport in Southern California, I decided to eat at the Oasis Grill and Sky Lounge. My waiter was a man named Ali. I sat longer than normal, and as I prepared to leave Ali and I began to communicate.

“I have 3 hours until my flight departs,” I told him.

“I’m sure that passes the time,” he replied. As he made a hand gesture toward my laptop.

He asked where I was headed and where I was from, then let me know he is also a Northern California native. At one time he owned an Italian Restaurant, which he’d sold at his wife’s urging in order to move closer to their daughter who is a college student.

Then his eyes began to tear up as he told me that he’d lost his wife to cancer barely a week ago. I was surprised he was working, serving food to me as I awaited my flight.

“I have to keep my mind occupied. I want to stay away from home as much as I can. The house now has no soul,” he explained in his thick accent.

A few moments later and we were discussing God. Ali and his late wife are of Muslim faith. Muslim’s serve the God of Abraham , which happens to be the same God those of Christian faith serve as well, even though Muslim’s call him “Allah” (edit to add: read the comments to this article, as this sentence has prompted a bit of discussion). During a conversation about the departure of Ali’s wife of many many years, it was not the time to discuss theological differences.

“Can I share something with you?” I asked.

When he agreed I passed along some very simple, yet profound information I’d received from Wendy when I was in extreme emotional pain.

“Don’t be afraid of the grief, Ali. It is a beautiful part of human healing. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn’t feel about the loss of someone you loved so deeply. Let the pain last as long as it needs to last, but don’t be afraid of it. Simply thinking of the fact that emotional pain is nothing to fear… well that really changed my perspective when I was hurting. I hope it does the same for you. Pain like this is beautifully human. You loved her.”

A visible change occurred in Ali’s face. He smiled a warm, genuine smile and took my hand in a firm-grip handshake. My eyes were now glistening with moisture just as his were. I have never lost a spouse to cancer, but I felt like I really loved this man who recently had.

And so does the God I serve.

“Thank you for those beautiful words, my friend,” he told me. And his eyes followed me until I disappeared around the corner, leaving the restaurant. I know, because I looked back at him as well.

There was no need to tell Ali that I’d be praying for him. I’m just going to do so. I spoke with him for a brief instant, but the human emotions he is experiencing are something each of us feel at times, and I felt a very strong empathy and love for that hurting soul.

My God, please comfort my new friend.

The very first blog entry written from my brand new 17” MacBook Pro comes at you from 31,000 feet in the air. I’m heading to the Orange County Airport to speak at a Porn and Pancakes event at Mariner’s Church in Irvine, California. I don’t remember where I found it, but I use this handy dandy little program called “Journler” that lets me write out my blog entries for transfer to WordPress when I have an Internet connection.

As for the new MacBook: no, I’m not made of money. It was just a necessary purchase for my business. One of my clients has a website that can only be managed using a program that runs exclusively on Windows XP, despite more than an hour of arguing on the phone with tech support trying to convince them to put in 5 minutes of their precious time to set up a very simple solution that would have allowed me to use OSX on my previous Mac. Things didn’t go my way, so I have no choice but to use Windows for that particular account. The new MacBooks have an Intel chip, which makes it easy to run both Windows XP and Apple’s OSX. It seems blasphemous to put such an inferior operating system as Windows XP on a Mac but ya gotta do what ya gotta do, ya know? Besides, since Wendy began working for me earlier this month she’s been asking if we can get her a notebook computer. I’d originally planned to upgrade mine sometime in November after the release of Apple’s next version of OSX, but I can’t say I’m all that sad to push that purchase date forward a month and change.

Wendy now has my 15” PowerBook. She’s happy. I’m happy. We all skip down the yellow brick road singing Kumbaya.

It’s 7:55PM and my flight is due to land at 8:40pm. By 9 o’clock I should be checking into my room at the Hotel just across the street from the airport, then it’s out to dinner with Craig Gross and a girl from the adult industry who wishes to remain anonymous for now. This morning I received a message from her that she’s grown really sick of the porn world and would like someone to talk to. Since she’s only 50 or so miles from where where we’re staying I invited her to meet with Craig and I tonight. Send up a prayer for us, will ya?

Tomorrow afternoon I’ll be flying back to Sacramento, spending the night and speaking during both services at Arcade Church. I could use your prayers for that as well. When I take the time to get alone with God before speaking I can definitely tell the difference. Non-praying Donny stutters and has problems getting words out in a coherent manner. Praying Donny is usually eloquent and can definitely “feel the Presence,” an amazing difference for sure. God leaves no doubt who’s to be taking center stage. Hint: it’s not Donny Pauling (and should I ever doubt that fact, Wendy is happy to remind me… she loves to put me in my place).

Rather than writing anything further, I’m gonna shut down Journler and play with my new computer. Until next time, may God bless each and every one of you.

…and may the fleas of a thousand camels avoid your armpits!

As a former producer, it’s normal that people want to ask questions about porn. Many of the questions I’ve received via email or myspace are quite repetitive. I don’t mind answering the same questions over and over again, but I also felt that if the same questions are being asked by so many different people, perhaps it’s time for some sort of “Q & A” column involving some of the questions or issues that are raised most often.

Those posing the questions range from individuals struggling with porn to Pastors or Youth Pastors who want to speak about it in sermons or workshops. At the moment I’m not feeling too motivated to write out a dedicated Q & A section (maybe someday), so I instead spoke with Jason Harper from Capital Christian Center and asked if he’d be willing to have a conversation with me, and to record it in MP3 format so that I could stream it from this site. Jason agreed (he posted our conversation on his podcast as well).

Because we ran out of time, not every question is covered. Many of the most important questions, however, are addressed here (click the triangle to play or right click here and save the file to your harddrive):

[audio http://donnysramblings.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/donnypauling.mp3] Running Time: 31 minutes, 28 seconds

^^^ Put faces with the voices: Jason (L) and Donny (R) ^^^

This morning I slept in until 8:11. At that precise time, Citi Financial Auto decided to call to let me know that my car payment is a little late. I was very happy to hear that.

Since I was now so rudely awakened, I plopped myself down in my favorite chair… favorite because it happens to sit directly in front of my beloved iMac. This morning my iMac was to play an instrumental part in messing up my entire demeanor. The calm, smiling Donny who was looking forward to getting out of the house and taking the hour drive to call on a client was soon to be transformed into a blubbering, snotty mess.

It all started when I noticed Julie the Artist and MT of X3 had both posted the following video on MySpace:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnB04aJDcNk

What a beautiful song for that video clip, don’t you think? But just a few moments into it and my eyes suddenly sprung a leak. I started sniffing a bit.

I shared the video with Wendy, my ex-wife. I can only assume Wendy decided to check out related videos, because a few moments later she found it in her heart to add to my snot levels by emailing me this, which had really moved her as a mother:

So now, my dear constant reader friends, I am a blubbering mess of tears and snot… and I can blame it all on the three women I mentioned.

Thanks a lot, girls.

(PS: Amazing love… Absolutely amazing…)

Sent to me by Steve G of Colorado Springs, Colorado:

Donny,

I realize this may not apply as much to you as you are in a different place, but you will meet men and women who will need this and so I wanted to pass it along to you. God bless you,

Steve

Thanks, Steve. I’m posting it.
- Donny -

I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!… I will not give up, give in, give out or give over ’til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words… in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad…so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down ’til the breakdown is torn down!

I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous… nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God’s real thing, nor will I seek to lower God’s standard, twist God’s will, rewrite God’s word, violate God’s covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!

In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God’s faithfulness.

I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit.. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.

I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up ’til my marriage is healed.

- Author Unknown

Hey Donny,

I have a HUGE problem. I’m getting married in a month, and my fiancé FOUND MY PICTURES on the internet. He is beside himself. He is hurt and shocked and being that we are supposed to tie the knot in less than a month, I’m freakin suicidal!!! Freakin sick over this….throwing up, cannot sleep at all…I never thought in a million years that would ever happen. How long do those pictures circulate?? I am seriously pissed.

I know I did those pics and yes it was my fault, I want to get them OFF the internet. Is there anyway possible to do that ASAP? I will pay you the money back, whatever it takes. This will and is ruining my life. I am fearful that his friends will see and torture him about it, or the people I work with in the military. (they are all men) I am absolutely SICK over this. I can’t eat or sleep and I honestly don’t know what to do. I swear to you, I never thought this would happen. I mean, there are a million girls on the freakin internet….why me?! and because you are supposed to be a changed man? into God and everything? please…I need to know that you understand my situation, and find it in your heart to help me. This is destroying me. I know I am 100% responsible for taking the pictures, it’s my fault. But it was a long time ago, and I was single and I needed the money. But isn’t there anything you can do to please help me now??? This was like 2 or 3 years ago? Why are my pics still on the damned internet???

My military career and soon to be marriage (if he still will) is riding on this. Don’t my pictures expire after a certain time? and you just put new ones up? or sell new ones to companies to flush out old girls? I think you can read the desperation in this email.

I am completely desperate (again) at this point Donny and need your help. Can you help me? Please. I need EVERYTHING removed. What can we do? I’ll pay you money, anything. PLEASE say you can help me. PLEASE.

Yep, porn is harmless…

“God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.”

This past weekend in Ft Myers, Florida, I had the opportunity to hang out with JR, Steve, and David. Because we are highly mature men, we amused ourselves while driving by telling “momma jokes” and demonstrating our knowledge of Chuck Norris Facts. We laughed until our sides hurt, then discussed how many women “wouldn’t get it”, affirming that statement later by repeating some of said “Facts” to MT of X3, David’s wife, only to receive silence in response.

I can’t explain why, but I am very much amused by “Chuck Norris Facts”. I even came up with one of my own, which I may share with you later in the comment’s area. JR thought it was funny. That must count for something.

Here’s a video of Chuck Norris himself, responding to some of the “facts” being circulated on the internet about him.

• Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.
• Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
• In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

If you count yourself amongst those of us who are amused by “Chuck Norris Facts” feel free to add your favorite(s) as a comment.

I like talking to you without the formalities that some seem to think necessary. I realize you’re there when I wake up and have bad breath or when I cuss at some idiot who cuts me off in traffic (I realize the other driver is another one of your kids, God, but can’t they learn how to drive?).

I know you’re wise enough and know me well enough to realize I mean no disrespect to you when I just talk to you like I’m talking to a good friend. In fact, I really think you like that. It must get tiring listening to people’s attempts to pontificate, rather than just opening themselves up to you and having a conversation.

When you were down here on earth in the form of Jesus, I wonder if you experienced some of the heartache and frustrations we experience? I bet you did. I’m pretty positive you took human form completely, and weren’t just Deity inhabiting a human body. I think your stomach growled when you were hungry and your back itched so badly at times that you occasionally scratched it with a tree branch to get relief. I wonder if you felt some of the other emotions we feel, like romantic love. That’s a really odd thought. It kinda makes me feel weird to even consider it, like maybe that’s a bit disrespectful or something. Anyway, if you did you probably know how frustrating such things can be. And if you didn’t, you still probably understand.

Tonight I can’t sleep, so I’m talking to you. I just sent off that email/prayer a second ago where I told you some of the very personal, private things that have been on my mind tonight. I thought that would help me sleep, but no luck. So now I’m blogging to you. As I said in my email, I seem to get my ideas out best when I’m writing. I’m sure you know that about me, though, since you know me better than I know myself. Sometimes I forget how amazing it is to be able to have a real relationship with you.

I’m really glad I was able to fly to Ft. Myers today, God, because I got a chance to do a lot of reading while on the plane. I needed that, as I’m sure you know. You really speak to me when I read. Maybe it’s because my mind isn’t distracted by thoughts of “business” or by music or by ego or by Donny being Donny. Whatever it is, thanks for the conversations we had today on the plane.

There’s really no point in this prayer, God. I’m just rambling. Just wanting to have a conversation with you, I guess. And since JR’s plane was held up and I have the room to myself until he finally arrives, I’m not really keeping anyone awake by typing this to you. Except myself, of course. It’s just that right now it’s only 11:35 pm back home, and it’s 2:35 am here. I realize I have to be up in a little over 3 hours and maybe that’s part of the reason I can’t sleep: trying too hard.

Michelle told me that more than 1,100 tickets were sold tomorrow for tomorrow’s event. If I can get up in front of that many people with barely any sleep without puking that’s really going to be a miracle. That’s a lot of eyeballs, God. Help, please!

Hopefully JR is staying awake as he drives from his alternate flight to the hotel. Prompt him to pull over for some cheap convenience store coffee if he starts feeling tired, will ya? Maybe I should call him, since I’m awake anyway. Maybe that’s why I’m awake? Do you want me to call JR?

In that case I guess I’ll stop rambling for now. I’ll call JR, then if I still can’t sleep I’ll listen to whatever it is you want to say, if you want to say anything to me, that is…

Hopefully the readers of my blog won’t think I’ve lost all my marbles typing out prayers to you on my site. Ah, who cares if they do, right? You know me.

I love you and would like your help dealing with my part of tomorrow’s P&P event.

Thanks for being there,

Donny

(I have a prayer request at the end of this article)

I’m awake! I’m awake!

Of course I am… it’s time to get ready to fly to Ft. Myers, Florida. Tomorrow morning I’m speaking at Porn and Pancakes with Craig and J.R. My schedule for the next several weeks is hectic. I love it! Well, right NOW I love it, let’s see how I feel halfway into it. Fall starts the busy time of year for speaking engagements. Here’s mine for the next month and a half:

• Friday, September 14 – Sunday, September 16: Ft. Myers, Florida for Porn and Pancakes, followed by Sunday Morning Services at First Assembly Ministry.
• Friday, September 21st – Sunday, September 23rd: Colorado Springs, Colorado for Porn and Pancakes, followed by Sunday Morning Services at Pulpit Rock Church.
• Friday, September 28 – Saturday, September 29: Irvine, California for Porn and Pancakes at Mariner’s Church.
• Sunday, September 30th: Sacramento, California to speak at Morning services at Arcade Church.
• Saturday, October 6th – Sunday, October 7th: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma for NATIONAL PORN SUNDAY, broadcasting from LifeChurch.tv.
• Monday, October 8th – Tuesday, October 9th: Edinborough, Pennsylvania for Porn and Pizza at McLane Church.
• Friday, October 12th – Saturday, October 13th: Richmond, Virginia for Porn and Pancakes at New Venture Christian Church.
• Sunday, October 14th: Charlotte, North Carolina to speak during Sunday Morning services at Kinetic Church.
• Friday, October 26 – Saturday, October 27th: Huntington Beach, California for Porn and Pancakes at First Christian Church.
• Friday, November 2 – Saturday, November 3rd: Dayton, Ohio for Porn and Pancakes at Apex Community Church.

I’ll be logging a lot of frequent-flyer miles, and bringing my iPhone. I want to meet as many people as I can, take your photo so I remember you, and add you to my iPhone’s address book.

Come with a smile!

PRAYER REQUEST:

I’d like those of you who pray to agree with me in this request, and to pray with me for some of these things when you remember to do so:

God, I thank you SO MUCH for the opportunity to travel and speak with your sons and daughters about this very important issue.  I ask that you keep reminding me that YOU are merciful and full of grace, and that transforming a wretch like me is a miracle.  Using me in the manner in which you’ve used me is humbling.  Please remind me to stay in that place of humility.  You know me, God.  I have a HUGE ego, God, and have a tendency to sometimes want to take credit for things that have nothing to do with me and everything to do with you.  Please help me break that.  I’d ask you to just break it for me but I realize it’s something you’re happy to provide assistance with, but much of the work has to be done on my end.

I’d also like to ask for health.  Flying around the country is something that often times results in colds.  I hate colds.  I run to the grocery store for NyQuil and DayQuil at every sniffle.  Please, I ask, help me to stay away from bugs and germs.

I also ask that you open hearts to receive the message being presented at these events.  You’ve given all of us free will to do as we please, but sometimes our free will hurts others, and ourselves, much more than we realize.  I want those who listen to know that none of us are trying to take away rights or free will, we just want people to have more knowledge about all sides, all perspectives, of the issue of pornography.  It’s an issue that is huge and it’s a big blue elephant that we no longer want the church to ignore.

Be with all of us.  Bless every speaker and every listener.  I love you.

- Donny -

October 7th is National Porn Sunday. Ask your pastor to sign up. Today. Just do it.

Please?

Here’s a preview of part of what will be presented on that day:

This is going to be an amazing, life changing event. This is a topic churches known they need to address but don’t know how. XXXChurch is providing the “how”. Tell your pastor to visit the Porn Sunday website to signup.

Oh, and please do me a favor by sending a link to the video to your friends. Copy and paste this URL into an email and send it to everyone in your address book:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPBmz2vjUK4

If you’re a member of Digg.com, please click here and “digg” this video.