Donny's Ramblings

In response to a comment left on Craig Gross‘ Facebook page by Michelle Truax, one of the key players on the XXXChurch Team, I just wrote:

I have decided not to deal with it right now. I’ve laughed today, read books, talked to Ted Haggard a few times, talked to my Pastor about the book we’re writing together… but I have pushed this out of my mind ’cause I do not know how to deal with it. Anybody who has met Steve cannot help but like, even love, him. I don’t want to accept this yet. I have a feeling it’s gonna hit hard in a few days.

Truth is, the most horrible thing that has happened in my life since I gave it to God happened yesterday, but I learned of it this morning.  If you follow me on Twitter you’d never know it.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I don’t wanna freakin’ deal with this.  One of the speakers on the XXXChurch team ended his own life yesterday, and I don’t know how to handle it.  His name is Steve Glisan.  You can watch his story by clicking here.  I loved Steve, but I never told him so.

I first met Steve at a Porn and Pancakes event in Colorado.  Because of the places it took him, his porn addiction resulted in a loss of his wife and three kids.  After years apart, he found help and his marriage was restored.  That, my friends, is why he spoke for XXXChurch.  The story of Steve and Ann Glisan was powerful.

I’m told he recently gave in to temptation and slipped up again… that he decided to handle the guilt by removing himself from this planet.  After all the heartache his family went through before, I cannot understand this decision.  Surely he had to know this was the worst possible choice?  I guess not.  Steve, who regularly blogged for XXXChurch under the name Steve G, is gone.  I am so angry with him, yet so sad at the same time.  I am not good handling this sort of thing.  I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know what to say.  I feel freakin’ useless.  There is nothing I can say to ease the pain his family must feel.  There is nothing I can say or do to deal with the way I feel, either.

The Quick and Simple Version:

I’ve agreed to participate in this event:  Bowlfest 2010 and I need sponsors.

The more detailed plea/explanation:

Some of you know my story.  You’ve read about my former career ruining lives.  You’ve likely read about some of the intense anger and bitterness I held towards Christians, and you’ve heard how much of that anger was removed over the course of four years by a missionary group calling themselves XXXChurch.com.  If you’d like to hear more about some of the things God has done in my life feel free to watch this video of me speaking at Mercy’s Cross church in Sherwood, Arkansas.

XXXChurch.com is part of Fireproof Ministries.  Fireproof Ministries also includes Strip Church:  Sin City’s Little Church House in Las Vegas, Nevada (click those links to learn more about it) and is financially supported by contributions from people like you, speaking fees and fundraisers.  This coming April I’ll be involved in Bowlfest, one of those fundraisers.  We’ll be bowling 100 frames, and I’ve already sponsored myself for $1 per frame.

XXXChurch asks each participant to have a goal of $25 per frame.  That’s all fine and dandy, but I have a lot of pride, and would like to blow all other participants out of the water.   In other words, I’d really like to raise more money than anybody else, and I need your help to do so.

If you’re interested in sponsoring me for this event please comment in this thread (your email address won’t publicly show, but I’ll have it) or email me directly,  donny@donnypauling.com, to let me know how much per frame you’re willing to sponsor.  Please keep in mind that there are 100 frames, so multiply by 100, or decide the total amount you’d like to give and divide by 100.  I realize you probably already figured that out but thought I’d bring it up anyway for my own peace of mind. 

You can also donate online via PayPal on this page – click here.

If your church would like to sponsor me I’ll definitely not turn them down!    Thanks so much for your help!

Here’s a video that shows a bit about this event, and what I’ll be doing:

Heart Support, which is an online community support group for those struggling with various issues such as addiction, suicidal thoughts, depression, eating disorders, and other struggles, has been nominated for a Myspace Impact Award.

The winner of this award receives a sizable donation from Myspace. I’d like you to take 15 seconds of your time to go vote.

Click the graphic above or click here and vote for Heart Support.

Heart Support is a team up of several people you may already be familiar with, including XXXChurch.com and Jon Bell (for those who don’t know Jon, he’s author/pastor Rob Bell’s brother).

Vote, please!